A Women Guide: Knowledge of sex life

Pain Reduces Pleasure

After my children were born, I have not enjoyed sex at all. I am protected against getting pregnant again, so I feel that's not a problem. Also, I enjoyed sex a lot before children. Sometimes, I enjoyed sex a lot before children. Sometimes, I think its all in my head, that if I could let myself enjoy it, I wouldn't feel any pain; yet I know there's something wrong down then. My gynecologist has not been able to figure anything out

This kind of report typifies and woman, who is eager for sexual experience, but is finding each encounter to be more and more negative, because of the intense pain, she experiences during each sexual act. Pain during sexual intercourse is technically called dyspareunia. It has a number of different sources. Whatever be the source when pain is experienced, sexual enjoyment will be greatly reduced, if not eliminated altogether.

Pain and the New Bride

For the new bride who is a virgin, it is not surprising, if there is a small amount of pain. Most women experience at least a little. This can be due to the opening in the hymen being tight and small. In the great majority of situations, it is due to a combination of new, excitement and anxiety, which prevents the woman from relaxing. When the necessary physical changes do not take place (the opening up and laying flat of the majora lips, plus lubrication), then entry is going to be more difficult and pain more intense. Entry under these conditions increases the pain and reduces the possibility of Mutual Pleasuring. once the woman feels pain, tension is likely to set in. this tension will inhibit arousal and clock any kind of release. While many couples begin in this way they usually get past the sequence quite quickly. But the sequence can be avoided to begin with.

If you are an engaged couple or if you counsel engaged couples, attending to a few small details pain. First six weeks to two months before the wedding date the woman should be examined by gynecologist or qualified general practitioner. In this experience, the doctor should be able to communicate to her, whether her physical anatomy is normal and whether there are any particular barriers of which she should be aware. The couple and the physician should discuss birth control methods.

In the weeks before the , every time the bride-to-be takes a bath, she should use her fingers to stretch the hymen, until she can insert three fingers into the vagina and pull it apart slightly. This stretching procedure will prepare the vagina for entry and will also help the woman become familiar with some of the sensations of having the vagina stretched. As the wedding comes closer this might be done several times a day.

The couple should be encouraged to take along a lubricant that is not sticky (not Vaseline). K-Y jelly or Lubrifax are recommended for genital use. For use over the whole body as well as genitally, a non-allergic lotion without lanolin such as Allercreme is good. The couple should plan to use the lubricant for all entry experiences, whether they think they need it or not. The lubricant protects the woman, in case she dries up during the excitement. It also provides a distraction from the focus on the entry. A small amount of lubricant should be applied to the head and ridge of the penis and to the opening of vagina.

A final word of instruction to the new bride and groom is to move slowly. No matter how many times they tell themselves to proceed slowly, they will still most likely move ahead too quickly. If a couple can plan to move into their first experience with a great deal of gentleness, patience, ease, and relaxation, they are most likely to create a positive beginning to a life of loving.

Stress Bring Pain

All of us show our tension in our own unique way. Some women, as they experience tension surrounding the sexual experience, will tend to tighten up their genital muscles involuntarily. In fact, they may not even be aware that the tensing is happening, since this is counter-productive to a fulfilling and releasing sexual experience. It is not surprising that these women end up frustrated. But, even more than the frustration as a result of the tension, they may experience palm, for example, if the tightening occurs before entry, it may cause pain upon entry may also cause pain. The extreme form of this tension is called vaginismus.

Vaginimus is the involuntary tightening of the muscles, in the outer area of the vagina, which prevents the insertion of the penis. This contraction can be so severe that it is impossible to insert even your small finger. It can become a permanent state rather than just occurring as a result of the initiation of What is Sex? play. Because, it is impossible for the man to enter, vaginismus is easily identified. Should this be your situation, consult a gynecologist immediately and specifically explain your situation. If he or she is not familiar with the usual treatment procedures ask for a referral either to another physician or to a sex therapist. This professional must be competent to guide your in the use of a series of dilators which are graduated in size and designed to eliminate these involuntary spasms. Be encouraged that this conditions is extremely responsive to treatment in a relatively brief period of time. however, there should be some attempt also to understand the events leading to the vaginismus, so that his pattern will not be repeated.

Another source of pain due to tension occurs with lack of release. When a woman does not experience anFemale Sex Organs, she may sense some painful sensations in the lover abdominal area and the lower back. As she has become aroused the whole reproductive system, including the vaginal area and the uterus has become congested with blood in preparation for the organic release. The contractions of the orgasm are designed to release it's congestion, so that the blood which has fined the cavities can be drained. When there is an orgasm this process provides a great deal of pleasure. When the woman does not experience release, the whole pelvic area remains engorged, which may cause chronic pain. This pain is usually not intense, but is a dull, throbbing ache similar to lower back pain. The difference is that it feels like it is further inside the body. Obviously, the best remedy for this pain is for a woman to allow herself to experience Female Sex Organs. In consulting a physician or therapist, it is crucial to identify, when the pain occurs and thus determine, if it is the result of lack of orgasmic experience release.

Physically Based Pain

Infections and irritations will obviously reduce pleasure. Whether the infection is in the external genitalia, causing pain during clitoral stimulation, or is inside the vagina, causing pain during intercourse, it will hinder freedom and enjoyment. Any kind of infection should immediately be dealt with a physician. Sexual activity should be limited, according to the instruction of the physician. Sometimes, an infection provides the opportunity for the couple to focus on the rest of the body for these often bypassed special pleasures. Just because, there is an infection does not mean the couple should abstain from all sexual activity. If it is comfortable for both, the man can be stimulated to orgasm at the end of a total body experience without ever having contact with the woman's genitals.

Irritations are troublesome, because there specific identifiable disease present. Yet an irritated vaginal opening or vaginal barrel can cause as much distress and pain during love -making as an infection. The best antidote to irritation is the generous use of a lubricant. Some women experience a thinning of the vaginal infection . Sometimes, this happens with age, particularly around the time of menopause because of a reduction of estrogen. If the walls of your vagina are thinning, again consult a physician to determine the cause and then always use a lubricant to reduce friction. Even if the walls of the vagina are becoming thin, pleasurable activity need not cease.

 Pain can also be the result of tears either in the opening of the vagina or small cuts (fissures) inside the vagina itself. Tears in the hymen usually cause pain on entry. Some women can identify pain at a very specific spot inside the vagina. Their report usually goes something like this: "It feels as if it is in the lower left-hand comes about an inch inside the vagina and it hurts exactly the same way every time. I feel I can even reach in and put my finger on it." When the pain is this specific, it is usually not the result of tension or the thinning of the vaginal walls, but rather the result of a small tear inside the vagina. Because of continued sexual activity and the moist environment, healing is slow. When consulting a physician be sure to identify the exact location of the pain. Show the doctor, so that he can carefully warn it and determine the nature of the problem. As a rule these tears can be treated with an ointment.

Some women report pain only during deep thrusting. There are three main sources of this kind of pain. The most commonly reported discomfort is the result of a lipped or retroverted uterus. When the muscles that suspend the uterus are weakened, the uterus drops so that the cervix, the opening to the uterus falls into the upper end of the vagina. As deep thrusting occurs the penis strikes the cervix, causing sharp, stabbing pain. It may cause a woman to cry out. Relief can be found immediately by a slight shift in position. For many women a small pillow or folded towel under the lower back (if she is under the man) will shift the uterus enough so that deep thrusting can be enjoyed.

Other internal pathologies such as endometriosis or a misplaced IUD can also cause pain upon deep thrusting.
Finally, there may be pain as an outgrowth of trauma from childbirth. One such pain occurs in the sensitive scars from the epistomy, the incision that is made between the vagina and the rectum to assist the birth process. There also may be tears in the ligaments that hold the uterus in place, in the vaginal wall or around the opening of the vagina. Tears are more likely to occur with a difficult birth. This was true for us after the breech (feet first) delivery of our first child. For those resuming sexual activity after the birth of a child we would issue the same encouragement given to the newly married couple: move carefully and slowly; haste will only hurt; be generous with the lubricant.

Managing Pain 

Whenever you experience pain, the first thing you should do is talk about it with your husband. Never grit your teeth and bear it. define exactly where the pain is located and when in the love-making process it occurs. Even, before you get to the physician, you may be able to avoid the situations that cause the pain, if you guide the penis for entry and shift sexual positions to make adjustments. Except fro pain from deep thrusting, lubrication will almost always reduce some of the intensity, even if it is from an infection. The discover what is pleasurable and focus on that for the time being. Avoiding entry for a few love-making sessions may be necessary. It is important not to continue the activity that triggers the pain. Whenever a negative sensation like pain is associated with a pleasurable activity like sexual play or intercourse, the pleasurable event will begin to take on the negative feelings. Even, after the physical reason for the pain has healed, a woman may continue to tense up or avoid the sexual activity that was linked with the pain. Her pulling away and tightening up has become a conditioned response. sometimes the pain will continue because of the tension. In dealing with this, use the same approach as you would for any emotional hesitancy or avoidance. Begin gradually, letting the woman take the lead until the tension concerning the pain has been reduced.

An increasing number of women, particularly young women, are reporting pain during stages of intercourse , if you are among these, seek help after talking about it with your partner. Pain does not have to be tolerated. In fact, pain cannot be allowed to continue , If you are going to enjoy sexual pleasure.