A Women Guide: Knowledge of sex life

Getting Comfortable with Your Body

Before you attempt to be comfortable with your husband, it is essential that you be comfortable with yourself. Many women have been taught to think of their bodies as unpleasant or distasteful, particularly the genitals. They have learned that this is the doctors area, the ‘messy’ part of them, the bloody part and certainly a complicated part to overcome these teachings, begin with a time of self-discovery. Wash well. Then take out a mirror and get to know yourself in specific detail. Look at the various parts, touching them as you explore. It may be necessary for you to do this several times, before you feel comfortable enough to share such an experience with your partner.

When you have reached the point, where you are familiar and comfortable with yourself, then plan a time, when you and your husband can share this discovery time together. This should not be seen as a time for sexual arm, but rather as a time of Marriage and Sex. You can best teach him about you and he can teach you about himself. Go into the complete detail, if this feels a little awkward. Talk about your discomfort as you go along. It may take several experiences of this or, before you really feel comfortable sharing your genitals with each other.

Some people ask, doesn’t this take this mystery out of love-making? It is our experience that mystery based on ignorance only causes problems, not joy. After, we know all we can about each other’s bodies and shared all we can about our feelings, mystery is still left. The mystery does not have to do with our various bodily parts, but rather with all the Sensations and wing, that come to us in the loving mipedian Mystery about the body is bow labeled ‘ignorance,’ does not lead to fulfillment.

After you have discovered yourself genitally and shared this with your partner, spend some time in becoming aware of where you feel the most enjoyable sensations. The setting for this should be very secure and relaxed. It might be while you are in the bath tub, or it may be in your bedroom, when everyone else is out of the house or the door is locked. Be sure the kids are napping or away and you have some time to yourself. You should be confident that you will not be interrupted and that you need not be rushed.

Every woman enjoys different kinds of genital touch. There is no right or wrong way. For you there is only your way. Some women like to have the head or glans of the clitoris stimulated directly, but for most that is too Pain reduces Pleasure. That is why the majority of women enjoy the touch around the clitoris, rather than directly on it. the main part of the clitoris – the clitoral shaft- is directly above the head of the clitoral shaft – is directly above the head of the clitoris. Thus, the skin that covers the shaft and extends to both sides may be the area that you most enjoy having touched. (Likewise, most men enjoy having the shaft of the penis stimulated rather than the head.) The opening to the vagina may also bring special pleasure. For most women, the deep insertion of fingers into the vagina does not bring much pleasurable sensation. Discover for yourself not only, where you like to be touched, but how directly or generally, pointedly or broadly, with much pressure or light pressure. Keep in mind that there is no normal or right way, only your way, and even that way may change from day to day.

While you are in a relaxed state, test your pubococcygeus (PC)muscles to see, whether you can feel it tightening. If you cannot feel the tightening the right muscle or the muscle is loose. For a vigorous sexual response this muscle needs to be in good tone. Begin doing the exercises as outlined earlier.

This would also be a good time to identify any point in the outer area of the vagina that has positive sensations for you. Some women report that the lower right hand and lower left hand areas of the vagina bring them the most positive sensations. This may or may not be true for you. If it is, enjoy it and sham it, if it is not, there is no need for concern.

Whatever you learn from self-exploration, self-stimulation, tightening the PC muscle and identifying the responsive parts of the vagina should be shared with your partner as a way of keeping him up-to-date with your own discoveries. Then, he can incorporate this new information into this love-making pattern.

You need to be comfortable not only with the specifically sexual parts of your body, but with your body as a whole. This would be a good time, therefore, for you and your partner to share with each other how you feel about your bodies from head to toe. This should include how your body looks, how it feels, how you think about it and how you sense others respond to it. take turns standing in front of the mirror without any clothes and describe what you see and feel. All of these experiences are designed to help you be more comfortable together. They need not be experienced as arousing. Let yourself enjoy them, without any kind of demand that there be sexual feelings. But, if you find that in fact they are arousing, let yourselves enjoy the stimulated sensations, without feeling you have to act on them.

Pleasure Without Demand

They previous experiences were designed mainly for educational purposes, as a way of teaching you and your husband about your body, and also to learn the specific kind of genital touch you most enjoy.

We move now to some experiences that are more for Mutual Pleasuring. Begin by knowing that in these experiences there is no expectation for inter course. Rule sexual intercourse out, for the time being. Also know that there is no way you can fail in time experiences because there is nothing you have to achieve. The goal is to let yourself experience and enjoy as much of the pleasure as you can take in. begin by getting clean together. Bathe or take a shower and if it is comfortable even wash each other’s bodies. For some of you this will be a familiar experience, for others it may seem strange or awkward. Talk about those uncomfortable feelings, but push yourself – to complete the bathing in spite of the discomfort.

After you are clean get into a quiet comfortable place – perhaps on the bed and take turns learning to pleasure each other through touch by a foot and hand caress. The idea is to receive pleasure through touch without feeling any demand for a response. as the receive your only task is to enjoy the sensations and to communicate anything to your partner that is not enjoyable for you. He has to be able to count on this, otherwise he cannot relax in the giving. His task is to pleasure you in a way that brings him pleasure. We enjoy ourselves most, when we can relax in the assurance that the other one will let us know if anything we do is not pleasurable. It may take several sessions of foot and hand caressing before you can really relax with it and enjoy yourselves.

In the next experience, move on to the facial caress. This is obviously more personal and has more sensuous areas. The lips, the neck, the ears can be sexually responsive and are certainly more personal than the hands and the feet. So, focus on receiving and giving facial pleasure. Take your time, sink into it soak it up and enjoy it. couples are often amazed at what they learnt about each other by slowly, carefully and pleasurably touching each other’s faces. Keep in mind that this is not a massage designed to get the ‘kinks’ out but rather a form of sensuous Some common definitions, which brings familiarity and pleasure. After each experience, talk about what is felt like both to be the giver and the receiver. Alternate who pleasures first. Apply the same principles for both the pleasure and the receiver. Having learned to let yourself enjoy the pleasure of feet, hands and face, move on to the pleasuring of the whole body, including breasts and genitals. In this, body caress take your time. Let the pleasure and the receiver enjoy the experience. Again, keep in mind that this is not demand for a sexual response of aroused. Your only task is to let yourself receive the touching. If there is aroused, welcome it and enjoy it, but do not fed that you have to pursue it or extend it.

It is most common that with the total body pleasure, some demand or pressure may set in. this may be due to conditioning or to impatience. If you have always been a woman, who felt that as soon as your husband got near your genitals your needed to respond, this would be a good time to reverse that pattern. If you find yourself making demands on yourself to becomes aroused, share these thoughts with your husband as you notice them. Stick with this experience enough times to learn to receive, share and enjoy total body pleasure, realizing that many experiences can be fully satisfying without even touching the genitals. Both of you can come away knowing that you have shared and received.

Once you are comfortable giving and receiving sensuous touch on the rest of the body, move on to include the genitals in the total body pleasuring. Having finally come to this point, it is natural to become somewhat eager and to quickly focus in one the genitals. Usually this will bring immediate demand and hinder the relaxation and pleasure. Therefore, in these experiences, it is particularly important to begin with hands, feet, face and back and then gradually move in closer to the genitals. Let the first genital touches be light and whispery, move away to some other part of the body and then move to the breasts and then down the torso, down the stomach to the thighs and then the opening of the vagina and the clitoris without a major focus on just the clitoral area.

 Let the touches be light and of short duration, gradually incr4easing both of these. If any anxiety, spectatoring or demand creeps in, share this with your partner and have him move away from the genitals until that demand subsides and you are able to relax back into the total pleasure. do not be concerned about the extent of the aroused. The focus here is for pleasure. If you desire more genital touch, because it feels good, communicated this and let your body go after it, but let the desire come from deep inside you rather than from your head. Have a similar time of reversing roles, while you pleasure your husband’s total body, including genitals in a playful way.

We end this section of mutual discovery with an exercise that is designed first of all to teach and then to bring pleasure. Masters and Johnson have called it the non-demand pleasuring. The man leans against something solid like the headboard; the woman sits on the bed between his legs in front of him, leaning back against his chest. The woman takes his hands and guides them all over her body. She starts with the face and moves on down the front of her body, communicating to him with her hands on his how, where, and how long she likes to be touched. Through the touch and description, he can learn what gives her the greatest pleasure. Sometimes, it is difficult for a man to relax enough to let the woman take over, but there are dimensions to pleasuring that are difficult to communicate in any other way. Recall out earlier analogy of the individual knowing just how, he or she wants the itchy spots scratched; even so a woman or a man can, through demonstration, best communicated the kind of touch that he or she enjoys.

Once you have covered all of the body including genitals that can be reached in the non-demand sexual position, the woman can gradually let the man take over without her guidance. As you let him take charge, let yourself sink back into freely enjoying the pleasuring without demand for any The Female orgasmic response. if there are pleasurable sensations that move you to arousal, communicate this and go after those wings. As your body feels like moving toward the heightened emotions let it exaggerate the aroused feeling. This may mean that you will feel like breathing more deeply, pushing your thighs toward your partner’s hands and squeezing your legs together or many other responses that are hard to specify. Take the good samations as far as they go, then back off, pleasure in some other area and then move towards them again.

It is important to keep this wave like motion in mind, sexual arousal will be heightened most as we move toward it and then move away from its source as we feel the excitement lessen. This teasing kind of response is less demanding and more tantalizing. Flowing with ones level of arousal has to be learned and can only be learned through communication. If something is feeling particularly good and your husband moves away from it, bring his hand back to it and told him what you would like.

If you are a woman who inhibits a specific body response, practice on that dimension separately. Let us say, for example, it is difficult to let yourself breathe with excitement and intensity. In one of your teaching times, plan that the two of you will just lie together in bed and experiment with different kinds of breathing. This should not happen when you are aroused or when you are pleasuring each other, but just breathing out loud with each other. It may turn into a hilariously comical experience, as you let yourself be somewhat melodramatic. Even though you are acting out the response, this exposure to the sensations and noises will allow the natural breathing to feel more familiar. This fake practicing could also be utilized to become comfortable with making loud noises, thrusting, pushing, or any other behavior that seems unladylike or5 unacceptable to you. Practice these sexual behaviors with clothes on and in an unaroused state. This rehearsing can help you break down the inhibitions and let out the natural you!