Home | Contact Us | Sitemap

=================
Introduction
================= =================
Forward To Love
=================

Love As a Learned Phenomenon

Man Needs to Loved and Be Loved

A Questions of Definition

Love Knows No Age

Love Has Many Deterrents

To Love Other You Must First Love Yourself

To Love You Must Free Yourself Of Labels

Love Involves Responsibility

Love Recognizes Needs

Love Requires One to Be Strong

Love Offers No Apology





            Love is a learned, emotional reaction. It is a response to a learned group of stimuli and behaviors. Like all learned behavior, it is effected by the interaction of the learner with his environment, the' person's learning ability, and the type and strength of the reinforces present; that is, which people respond, how they respond and to what degree they respond ,to his expressed love.

            Love is a dynamic interaction, lived every second of our lives, all of our lives. Therefore, it is everywhere at every time. For this reason, I am put off by the phrase, "to fall in love." I do not believe that one falls in or out of love. One learns to react in a particular way to a certain degree to a specific stimulus. That reaction will be the visible index of his love. He possesses no more love to "fall into" or "out of" than what he has and acts out at any precise moment of his life. It seems more accurate to say one grows in love. The more he love as a learned phenomenon, the more his opportunities to change his behavioral responses and thus expand his ability to love. Man is either constancy growing in love, or dying. Therefore, his actions as well as his interactions will change throughout his life.

            If one wishes to know love, one must live love, in action. To think or read about love or carry on profound discourses on love is all very well, but in the: last analysis, will offer few if any real answers. Thoughts, readings and discourses on love are of value only as they present questions to be acted upon. One will learn love only with fresh insight, with each new bit of knowledge, which he acts out, and which is reacted to, or his knowledge is value-less. As like states so accurately, he must simply "love along someday into the answer." One, in other words, lives the questions. But in order to live the questions, it is logical that one will have to pose them.

One does not fall 'in' or 'out' of love One grows in love

            In living the questions he will learn many truths about love, among them that love is not a thing. It's not a commodity that can be bartered for or bought or sold, nor can it be forced upon or from someone. It can only voluntarily be given away. If an individual chooses to share it with all men alike, he's free to do so. If he chooses to reserve it for a unique few, he may do this, also. His love is his to give.

            There are people available for purchase, body and mind, in the name of love. But it's only a self-deceiver who believes that love can truly be bought. He may buy another's body, his time, his earthly possessions, but he will never buy his love. One may choose to pretend love for a price. This is a dramatic art which has been perfected by many to the extent to which it is impossible for anyone to discern the deceit. But this game of playing love is not easy. The cost is great and never worth the price.

            Love cannot be captured or tied to a wall. Love only slips through the chains. If love wills to take another course, it goes; and all the prisons, guards, chains or obstructions in the world aren't strong enough to detain it for a second. Love Requires One to Be Strong enough. If one human being ceases to will to grow in love with another, the other may play several parts to hold him. He may become a villain and threaten him; he may become generous and offer him gifts; he may become the schemer and make him feel guilty; he may become crafty and trick him into remaining, or he may change his own "self" to meet the other's needs. But whatever he does the other's love is gone and he will receive, for all of his energies, only an empty I body, devoid of love all but dead. So the prize for I his efforts will be to live out his life holding on desperately and giving his love to a lifeless, lovely human frame. This, though it may seem revolting, is common practice, often performed for security, fame or fortune. The dynamics become even more grotesque when one considers that this dead-ended I relationship forfeits all possibilities of a lover's continued growth. Love is always open arms. With arms open you allow love to come and go as it wills, freely, for it'll do so anyway. If you close your arms about love you'll find you are left only holding yourself. To love others you must first love yourself.

Love is always open arms. If you close your
arms about love you will find that you
are left holding only yourself.

            Love, of some type and degree, is present in all civilized men. A base for love and the potential for growth in love is also present in each man. Love is then a process of "building upon" what is already there. Love is never complete in any person. There is always room for growth. At each point in a person's life, his love is at a different level of development as well as in the process of becoming. It is foolish to feel that one's love is ever completely realized or actualized. Perfect love is rare indeed. It is to be wondered if any man has ever achieved it. This does not mean that it may not be possible, nor a goal devoutly to be strived for. In fact, it is our greatest challenge, for love all the self are one and the discovery of either is the realization of both.



<<  Previous  Next  >>