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Why does anyone decide to become  a homosexual?

That's the fascinating part of it-hardly anyone  ever decides to become a homosexuals.  It just happens.  Often a teen-ager  slowly  develops the vague  awareness that he or she is "different."  For many of them it is unsettling, confusing-even frightening:

"I'm sixteen and I think I might be going crazy. Whenever I go out with girls, I always get really excited by watching  the rear  ends of the other guys. Is this a common problem?"

And, "My name is Sandra and I'm fifteen and I have a homosexual problem. I wish  I didn't want girls to touch  me. I wish I could  fall in love with boys again the way I did in the sixth grade."

Then what happens to young homosexuals?

Then the incipient homosexual stands at the cross roads of his (or her) sexual destiny. Some of them select that moment to "come out"-to make the dramatic decision to undertake life as a practicing homosexual. It's a hard choice for most:

"I'm a freshman in college and something weird is happening to me. When I was nine I had a grown-up cousin who used to sleep with me and masturbate against my body. I never told anyone because I was scared of him. Then in high school I had one or two homosexual experiences with a friend but I immediately regretted them. I was in love with this wonderful girl and we planned to get married, but now here's my problem.

"There's one guy in my fraternity who's like a brother to me. We've had a lot of physical contact-you know patting on the arm or knee and wrestling matches. One day his roommate was out and he said, 'Come on, lay down with me.' I did, and pretty soon we had our hands allover each other. Then he climbed on top of me and before we knew it we had made a mess. The next morning we sort of looked at each other and smiled and said, 'That was quite an experience.' Then I broke up with my girl because I found out what real love for a person was. It's not that we just loved each other's penis, but we loved each other.

"Now after vacation he says he's met someone else and he feels different about me and we hardly speak. We used to kiss like lovers, and he even gave me a hickey and I was proud of it. Even though he hurt me, I still love him and I even sucked him a couple of times after that but I never got a satisfying reaction on his part. This experience with him has shattered me."

Do female homosexuals start the same way?

They can. For some young lesbians it goes like this: "I met this girl at work last summer and we had this crazy relationship. Her husband was away and she asked me to stay with her because she was afraid to be alone. She only had one bed so we slept in it together. The first night she tried to get close to me but I told her 'no' and she didn't try it again. But gradually we fell in love, and one night when she was asleep I couldn't control myself and I made love to her. I put my finger inside her and ate her and everything I had been dying to do, but she pretended to be asleep all the time.

"Finally we went to a drive-in movie one night and in the next car we saw this girl sucking on another girl's breasts and she hugged me and said, 'I know that's what you like.' I was embarrassed but I knew she was right. Then we went right home and she sucked me and gave me the finger and sucked my breasts and I did all that to her and we told each other how much we loved each other. And this time she didn't pretend she was asleep. But the next week her husband came home and she got afraid. I can't see her anymore and my boy friend left me because he found out I was sleeping with her. I can't live not see her's-she like a goddess to me. That may sound stupid to you, but she has a beautiful soul inside.

"I guess I'm a homosexual but I live with pain all the time. It's worse than having a knife in your heart. The thought of holding her kills me because she held me so softly and kissed me so softly.

What causes homosexuality?

And What Is the Meaning of Life? The question of why men copulate with men and women copulate with women is among the most elusive riddles of human behavior. To begin with, there are some things that homosexuality is not:

1. Homosexuality is not a hereditary condition. A hundred years ago medical science explained most complicated situations by putting the blame on the genetic defects of Great Grandpa and Great Grandma-who were never around to defend themselves. These days enough is known about genetics to confirm that homosexual traits are not transmitted from parents to children. Besides, since homosexuals engage in heterosexual intercourse so rarely, it would be hard to produce enough little homosexuals to replenish the supply.

2. Homosexuality is not a hormonal or glandular problem. That was another popular nineteenth-century explanation. Any condition that baffled the experts was called "glandular" since no one knew anything much about glands anyway. In spite of years of tinkering with male and female sex hormones by researchers no one has been able to significantly stop or start homosexual behavior by giving or taking away sex hormones.

3. Homosexuality is not what everybody should be in the first place. There is a small but dedicated group of ladies and gentlemen who insist that everyone is fundamentally homosexual and only those of us who "deny our true nature" become heterosexual. By identical reasoning all of us are fundamentally cannibals and only those of us who deny our true nature eat hamburgers and hot dogs instead of each other.

But then what causes homosexuality?

As in every other complex human problem, all the returns aren't in. However, there are some compelling clues drawn from the common experiences of many homosexuals that point to a common emotional pattern. So many homosexuals, for example, absorbed more suffering and rejection as children than ten heterosexuals experience in a lifetime. The stories many of them tell are truly heartrending:

"These are some of my thoughts on my homosexuality for whatever use you might have for them. Being a homosexual is not so good really-I just don't know what to do about it. Tomorrow I start with my fourth psychiatrist, but I'm just going because my mother is forcing me to. If I don't go they'll hassle me until I have to go out of self-defense. They never allow me to disagree with them or even contradict them. I can't leave my mother because somehow I still love her."

"But I hate and despise all women! I'd like to put them all in a concentration camp so they couldn't emasculate me anymore."

"I can never remember being straight, and I knew I had to satisfy what was there. Even though I was scared and ashamed, I finally got up the courage to do it. I even enjoyed the 'whore stage'."

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