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Impotence: The Problem

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September Sex


Can't  a man with impotence just go to the doctor and be cured?

Almost every man with  impotence has gone that route already.  Every day perhaps a hundred thousand reluctant penises are trundled down to a doctor's office and dutifully displayed, examined, probed, and pronounced physically fit for active  duty.  But that  night, when the big moment comes, they refuse  to perform.  Then it's   back to see the doctor  and.Let Tony tell what  happened  to him:

"I've been  married seven years,  I have  three children, and my patient wife is about to go out of her  mind-and I'm  right  behind her.  I've had the full course.

"First, I thought there might be something physically wrong, so I went to a specialist who said I had an infection. I didn't. Next, I went to a urologist, who said the opening in my penis was too small. He made it larger-and don't think that wasn't fun. When I told him that didn't help, he acted as if he didn't believe me. Next, I went to our family doctor. He made me feel like a fool and told me to "concentrate." His face was as red as mine. Next, I went to a psychiatrist because I was beginning to feel like a mental case. He gave me every pill in existence and asked me how my job was. If all these doctors can't help me, who can?"

Why can't doctors do more for impotence?

It really isn't  their  fault.  We live in a society that  pretends that sex doesn't happen and that sexual organs don't exist.  In most  medical schools, more time is devoted to the study of indigestion than to the study of impotence.  Entire  departments are devoted exclusively to urinary conditions-how a man makes  water.  No department is devoted to the  study of impotence-how a man makes love .

Some medical researchers  are granted  billions for  research into cancer to make human life longer.  Others are given pennies for research into impotence to make human life happier.  So don't blame the family doctor if he  would rather talk about the function of the  pancreas instead of the function of the penis-at least the medical textbooks tell all about  how the pancreas   works.  The doctor who tries to help his patient by consulting the medical books comes away shaking his head.  One of the most respected reference works suggests that impotent  men take a  few drinks before attempting intercourse "to lessen their inhibitions"-and protect them from snakebite?   (Even  Shakespeare knew better, when he said about alcohol:  "It provokes the desire, but it  takes away the performance.") The same textbook has this exciting suggestion for premature ejaculators:  "Have intercourse  more often."  That's as thoughtless as telling a hunchback  to stand  up straight.

Is there a better approach to impotence?

There sure is.  It starts with making impotence and every other sexual problem a "respectable" condition-as respectable as high blood  pressure or varicose veins.  Then the  treatment can be taught in medical  schools and will be available from any doctor's office.

What can a man who is impotent do in the meantime?

For sure, he can't spend his life on the  sexual sidelines waiting for the cure  that never comes.  If he wants to badly  enough, he can attack his problem on his own, using  his intimate knowledge of his own needs and desires, combined  with the freely available  insights of modern  medical  science.

You mean a man can cure  his impotence by himself ?

Usually he has to do it by himself-because nobody else is going to do it  for him. (There is no way that even a fraction of impotent  men can receive psychiatric  treatment-there just aren't enough psychiatrists.) Besides , he caused it. If he  would only let his penis do what it wants to do, it would turn in a  dazzling performance every time-that's the way it's  made. But when he allows his unconscious feelings and his emotional conflicts to interfere, his  penis becomes  nothing  more than a phallic errand boy.   It is reduced  to carrying complaints  back and forth between  man and woman  via the reproductive system. Then it  doesn't  have time to do its real job-become erect, plunge into the vagina, and set off  an orgasm in the woman as it jubilantly blasts off on its  own. As soon as he decides not to let  his sexual organs take part in that  neurotic soap opera they call  impotence, a man is on his way to being cured.

How does he go about it?

First, by facing certain obvious  facts about male sexuality:

1. Virtually  every man  who is diagnosed as impotent is somehow  potent. His only problem is that his potency is  misplaced. Mostmen can have an erection and ejaculation sometime, somewhere, somehow. The fact that via masturbation most men are able to go from the first genital twitch to the final surging  moment of orgasm establishes their true potency  beyond any doubt. Anyone  who tells a man otherwise should  be viewed with suspicion.

2. A man's sexual performance can come under the deliberate influence of his will. Copulation is a combined physical-emotional function that can be regulated by training, concentration, willpower, and understanding. The sexual organs have no mind of their own; there is no such thing as "Every Penis for Itself"-and hopefully there never will be.

Victory over impotence  depends on a two-pronged attack.  The first goal is gaining control over the physical  responses  of the penis.  That  requires phallic discipline.

What is "phallic discipline"?

Well, it's not the kind that comes from leather clothes and kinky little whips.  It means re-educating the penis  to win instead  of lose.  It means making the penis  perform to please  its  owner (and his female partner) instead of going off half-cocked.  The same   brain  that can comprehend the facts of nuclear  physics, construct the Empire State Building, and  launch a 300-foot rocket onto the moon should be able to comprehend the basic of sexual intercourse, construct an erection, and launch a six-inch rocket into the  vagina.  Besides, impotence is so unfair.

Unfair?  In what way?

Well, it deprives a man of the beneficial use of the most enjoyable part of his  own body.  It is actually psychological castration.

While all the other men in the world are enjoying one orgasm after another, the impotent-or partly impotent-fellow sits on the sexual sidelines thinking of what might have been. Overcoming impotence translates "what-might-have-been" into "what's-going-to-be," and it all starts with two rather mundane preliminary steps.

What are the first steps toward overcoming impotence?

The most  obvious ones. If a man is going to be in good sexual condition, first  he has to be in good physical condition. For those carrying a few extra  pounds, it means getting  down to normal weight.  For some reason, the heavyweight on the scales  is the flyweight  in bed.  Maybe at the critical moment all the blood rushes to the stomach-who knows? Anyway, a man who is overweight has to choose, right at the start,  between pastries and passion, between the plate and the pillow, between the delights of digestion and copulation.

Second, he has to say good-bye to drugs-all drugs. Alcohol, tobacco, sleeping pills, tranquilizers, and the whole medicine cabinet of brain-bangers with which our society is burdened. That also includes a plea to the family doctor to restrict prescription drugs to the bare minimum. The closer an individual can come to making his entire body free of drugs and chemical that affect the brain the better his chances for sexual success.

The next step is to concentrate on attacking impotence where it originates.

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