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Orgasmic impairment The First Step

Conquering Orgasmic Impairment

Abortion and Birth Control

Oral Sex

Masturbation, Fetishes, and Perversions

Impotence: The Problem

Impotence: The Solution

Homosexuality

Venereal Disease

Teen-age Sex-A Crisis for Parents

September Sex


ORAL SEX

Is Oral Sex normal?

That's  really part of a larger question:  "Is sex normal?" Once human beings accept  the idea that the enthusiastic, spontaneous  use of their sexual endowments is normal, natural, and desirable, life will become easier and more fulfilling for everyone. A great part  of the anxiety over oral sex springs from failure  to recognize that the  human mouth is an important sexual organ.

Is the mouth really a sexual  organ?

Yes, it is. That's one of the reasons most women paint their  mouths with that red dye called "lipstick"-so no one will ever forget what it's there for. But not only is the mouth a sexual organ, it's probably one of the busiest sexual organs of them all. Every aspect of human sexuality, from the first tentative "hello" to the last passionate "good-night" begins and ends with the mouth. By contrast, the genitals themselves are bit-players who only get onstage for the final scene of the last act. It all starts with an innocent kiss:

"I'm fourteen and just starting to date so this question may sound dumb. Why is it when a boy 'kisses me I get sort of excited allover? I mean, he's not touching me anywhere else-I don't let him do that until later. But just feeling his lips against my lips makes me feel all sexy-is that okay?"

Congratulations on your curiosity. Most fourteen-year-olds are too busy enjoying the new physical sensations they are feeling to take the time to understand them. But it's worth the effort to try. The lip-to-lip kiss, probably the most socially acceptable intimate gesture in our society (next to the handshake), is actually a sexual time bomb. Under the right circumstances it causes instant erection of the penis, prompt response from the clitoris and vagina, and sets all the circuits buzzing in anticipation of sexual intercourse . Most of the aphrodisiac effect of the lip kiss springs from an accident of anatomy called the "muco-cutaneous junction." Stated simply, most parts of the body where the skin meets a mucous membrane are susceptible to intense sexual stimulation. That includes the entrance to the vagina, the tiny opening at the tip of the penis, and certainly the mouth. (There are also a few other specially designed areas of the body with hot lines to the sexual centers of the brain-they include the nipples, the clitoris, the labia minora, and most of the surface of the penis.) Muco-cutaneous junctions are greedy and they never seem to be satisfied. The more stimulation they get, the more they want-as a result the French get credit for something they never invented.

What didn't the French in vent?

The "French" kiss. As the sexual excitement from kissing spreads beyond the lips to the tongue and inner surfaces of the mouth, a miniature version of sexual intercourse takes place. The tongue becomes compressed into a cylinder much like the penis, and the mouth of the recipient closes around it like the vagina. The combination of heat, well-lubricated friction, and ever-spreading stimulation often leads to the next stage of oral sex-and a more controversial one.

Why controversial?

Because of the social disapproval of "the kiss that slips below" the lips." If the sexual reflexes are working normally, the inevitable happens:

"I've only been married about six months and something strange goes on before my husband has sex with me. He likes to kiss my breasts, lick my nipples, and then suck on them. I admit it feels good, especially after a while when my nipples get hard and stick out, but do all men do this?"

Only about 98 percent of them. The overwhelming attraction of mouth-breast sex is one of the great riddles of human sexuality. Why contact between the male mouth and the female breast should bring on such intense sexual stimulation has baffled generations of researchers. Even the meager, scientific evidence available is more frustrating than revealing:

1. Mouth and breast are both dual-purpose structure they provide sexual stimulation and nutrition.

2. Both breast and penis-as well as clitoris-have erectly tile tissue.

3. There is a direct nervous and hormone (neurohor-monal) connection between the female breast and the uterus. For example, the sucking action of a nursing infant triggers immediate responses in the mother's uterus. Nursing mothers often experience the same feeling of satisfaction-that comes from sexual intercourse.

4. Orgasm in the female is almost invariably linked to involuntary erection of the nipples.

There is even some convincing nonscientific evidence of the mouth-breast link. During the past few years breast feeding and sex have met over the lunch table. All over the country, in topless restaurants, bare-breasted waitresses serve well-developed mammary glands with the blue-plate special. (Careless girls sometimes serve their charms in the blue-plate special.)

While solving the riddle of the breast's role in sex may not exactly earn some eager researcher the Nobel Prize, it will clear up one of the more obscure areas of human sexuality. But that's an easy job compared to the next one.

Why is the next one so hard?

Because it means explaining the tremendous attraction-and occasional repulsion-of mouth-vagina and mouth-penis sex. When a man's tongue and lips begin to compete with his penis for the attention of the vagina and when a woman's mouth takes over the penis, the participants start feeling good and bad at the same time. In accordance with Aunt Nellie's Law of Sex, "It's all right to do anything as long as you don't enjoy it," mouth-vagina and mouth-penis sex bring on all kinds of anxieties, as these queries demonstrate:

"I would like to have your opinion about oral sex. Is it practiced in the U.S. or mostly in foreign countries?"

And
"After practicing such things as fellatio and cunnilingus could one ever enjoy normal sex again?"

And
"I don't know if all girls have this problem or just me. But like I really love to have my boy friend put his mouth to my vagina while I love his penis. The only trouble is I feel guilty afterward and I kind of think he does too. What's the answer?"

The answer is to understand what brings on the guilt about oral sex. Part of it starts in the nursery where Mother, with good intentions and bad information, gets the message' to Baby that the sexual organs are "dirty." Well, no one wants to put something dirty in his mouth, does he? The follow-up comes later on when teacher and nearly everyone gets into the act. The human mouth is represented as the unsullied last outpost of clean living, to be protected at all costs from the forces of dirt that threaten it. That's one of the big reasons for compulsively brushing your teeth, rinsing your mouth with funny-tasting chemicals, spraying your palate with cloying aerosols, and constantly sucking on phenol-flavored candy. Imagine bringing that gleaming mouth in contact with someone else's sexual organs!

But reality doesn't necessarily correspond to the mouth-wash commercials. The truth is that nearly every form of virulent bacteria thrives in the oral cavity of a normal individual. The intruders range from the germs that cause pneumonia, and diphtheria to those that transmit gonorrhea-and worse.

By contrast, the worst germs found in a healthy vagina are the meek Lactobacillus acidophilus-found in every pint of health-giving yogurt. In effect, there is far more danger involved in a casual peck on the lips than in either fellatio or cunnilingus. But that never stopped anyone from snatching a kiss.

Fellatio is a sexual technique in which a woman uses her mouth, tongue, lips, and (very, very gently) her teeth to stimulate her partner's penis. The word fellatio comes from the Latin word fellare which means "to suck," but as any man will verify, sucking is not the idea. The principle of fellatio is to apply to the penis the same kind of heat, pressure, lubrication, and friction provided by the vagina. A woman who is dedicated and skillful can make fellatio a truly exhilarating experience.

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