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Conquering Orgasmic Impairment

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Teen-age Sex-A Crisis for Parents

September Sex


What is a woman's greatest sexual challenge?

&Orgasm. No matter how sophisticated, attractive, or desirable a woman may be, two or three times a week she faces a critical moment of truth:  "Does she or doesn't  she?" During those sensational eight seconds when her sexual partner is exploding deep within her pelvis she becomes either a participant or a spectator.

"I just finished reading the chapter of your book on conquering orgasmic impairment and I've had the hardest cry I've had in years. You made me face squarely a problem I've been avoiding all my life. I just can't believe there can be more than one person in the world like me.

"I'm thirty-one years old, an excellent wife and home-maker, a gourmet cook, and I appreciate all the compliments I receive from men. If they only knew that all my sexiness is on the outside and that when it comes to sexual intercourse , I am zero. I've never had an orgasm in my life. Well, maybe one when I was eighteen.

"I was at a boy's house and he was petting my vagina while I was playing with his penis. Finally he started to come and at the same time I had this crashing feeling in between my legs. It was sort of a combination of wetting my panties and losing half my insides. I tried to get up from the couch and walk away but I was shaking so hard I couldn't even walk.

"I must have had sex a thousand times since then-I've even tried it with some of my husband's friends-but I've never had that feeling again. I remember hearing my mother say she never enjoyed 'it.' Maybe that's where I got the idea?

"I know there is more to sex than I've been able to get out of it. Is there any help for me?"

Most women who suffer from orgasmic impairment are tortured by the vague suspicion that every other woman in the world is scaling the heights of orgiastic ecstasy every fifteen minutes. For what it's worth, it's not true. Fully 50 percent of sexually mature females spend a good part of their time on the sidelines. Fortunately there is good news for them if they take a moment to think about it. The first encouragement comes from anatomy.

What does anatomy have to do with orgasm?

Just this. Every woman is programmed to have an orgasm virtually every time she has intercourse. To make this possible her genitals consist basically of a combination of specialized tissues designed to receive from the outside (and transmit to the brain) the maximum in pleasurable sensations. If she can only make them work the way they were supposed to, she can enjoy more excitement and satisfaction in a single moment than she may have anticipated in a lifetime.

Take the clitoris, for example. This little stick of sexual dynamite has ten times more sexual nerve endings packed into it than the largest penis. And it is linked by a massive cable of nerves directly to the most marvelous and powerful sexual organ ever designed-the human vagina. When the vagina comes in contact with the erect penis, it expands or contracts to hold the male organ in a perfect genital hand-shake. And once it grabs hold, it never relaxes its grip until it soaks up the last drop of sexual satisfaction.

As the penis moves in and out, the vagina constantly transmits its heat and throbbing, and its soft, caressing friction to the clitoris. The labia minora hitch a ride on the shaft of the penis and with each stroke pull the exquisitely sensitive tip of the clitoris down toward the penile piston. As intercourse proceeds, the vulva engorges with blood and reaches out even more for the probing penis. With approaching climax, the .clitoris begins to throb and the orgasmic count down begins. The moment of no return flashes past and the hips thrust the vulva convulsively toward the penis, the breath comes in grasps, the pupils dilate, and the woman is engulfed by her own monumental orgasm. Almost every woman has the physical endowments for orgasm, almost every woman has the desire for orgasm, and almost every woman knows the ins and outs of simple sexual intercourse Having a climax should be easy.

If having a climax is so easy, why do so many women miss out?

Because it actually isn't so easy. Back in the days when people copulated in caves and dined on dinosaur steak, reaching orgasm might have been easy. But for modern women there are a different set of rules. From the moment she is old enough to understand-and sometimes before-the tiny baby girl is told that there is something bad about the territory below the pubis. When that little hand begins to explore the infantile clitoris Mommy looms on the scene like an avenging angel:

1. "Nice girls don't do that!"
2. "That's dirty!"
3. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Three lies all in a row.
1. Nice girls do that.
2. Sexual exploration is perfectly clean (much cleaner than mud pies).
3. It is not something to be ashamed of.

Twenty years later that little girl-now a big girl-may write this letter:

"I know you must have heard this story a million times before so I guess once more won't hurt. Here goes.

"I am twenty-four and my husband and I have been married nearly four years. I have nothing against sex-at least consciously-and I want more than anything else to enjoy everything that sex has to offer. When my husband and I play, with each other we both get tremendously excited. But when his penis actually goes into my vagina I turn off completely. He calls it 'an attack of the sexual blahs.' Whatever it is it's driving both of us crazy. I wish I could do it every night with him-I want it so bad I can taste it cause impotence problem. But as soon as he gets inside me, everything stops.

"I've been racking my brain to figure out the reason and all I can think of is the way my parents acted about sex. My mother never told me about menstruation until after it started. All she told me about boys was to make sure they never 'took advantage.' And believe me, I worried for years about what that was supposed to mean. If it weren't for my wonderfully patient husband, who taught me everything, I would still be a sexual idiot.

"But believe me, this orgasmic impairment is really beginning to get me down."

This young lady's sexual upbringing was especially unfortunate and will cost her extra time and effort to overcome-although her youth and her understanding husband give her a good chance to succeed. Virtually every female, as she grows from girl to woman, gets the message that she is allowed to express her sexuality only at certain times, only with certain people, and only in a certain way. Usually she is told the time is after the wedding, the person is her husband, and the way is him on top and her on the bottom.

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