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Teen-age Sex-A Crisis for Parents

September Sex


What's the difference between adult sex and teen-age sex?

The basic difference is he age of the equipment. Although most adults don't like  to think about it that way, a fifteen-year-old penis engages a fourteen-year-old vagina  in the standard way. Teen-age erection (of the penis and clitoris), copulation, ejaculation, orgasm-and conception-are virtually identical with the way "grown-ups" do it. By the age of fourteen or so, most teens are grown-ups-at least from a sexual point of view. Of course, some of them are more grown up than others:

"Please tell me if you think I'm doing the right thing. I have a boy friend  named Gregg and we've been going together for about six months.  He's  sixteen and I'll be fifteen  next week.  We haven't gone all the way yet but we mess around a lot.  For instance, we'll go to the drive-in movie and he'll  play with me and lick me between my legs and all, and I'll play with him and blow  him.  He's  able to come but sometimes it takes longer than  other times.  (I don't always talk like this but I guess I should tell you everything.)

"I found out what an orgasm was  accidentally.  I was taking  a bath about a year ago and I decided I'd  like to get real  clean so I turned on the water and spread my legs way apart  and let it run on my clitoris and vagina.  Well, as you probably  know, it felt real good, and even  though I never had an orgasm before, I had one then.  So I started doing it a lot because  I liked it so much.  at first I would run the water full blast but  lately it's been quicker and feels better to have the water just  going a little.  My boy friend doesn't know I do  this but he says he used to jack-off when he was little so maybe  he'd understand about me.

"There was only one time when we tried to go all the way. It was in Gregg's backyard one night when no one was home. Before we started he asked me if I wanted him to wear a rubber because he'd bought some as control. I said, 'I guess so.' I was a little disappointed because I wanted it to be more romantic. He put me on my back in the grass by the pool with my knees up, but he couldn't get in. I guess I must have been pretty tensed up because later on he told me he couldn't even get his little finger in."

Do all teen-agers start that young?

No.  Some start  much younger:

"I am twelve and when I was in seventh grade, at the age of eleven and three quarters, I had intercourse with a boy  just to see  what it was like. No one had ever told me anything about it and my brother kind of  played it up and my mother played it down, so I decided  to see fro myself. Do you think I did  the right thing?"

Others are just  getting ready to start:

'I'm a thirteen-year-old I've experienced a strong desire to have sex with the guy I'm  going with. I haven't given  in as  yet, but I'm  afraid I'm weakening. Am I normal? What should I do? if it'll  help you to give me  the right  answer, I've always been a 'nice' girl and an outstanding  student."

What should she do?

 By now she has probably done it, felt  guilty about it, and then done  it again. Hopefully someone got to her in time and  cleared  up some of the confusion by assuring her that:

1. The desire for sex  in girls after puberty is normal.

2. If she  was a "nice" girl before sex, she will be a "nice" girl after sex. There is nothing about normal sexual intercourse that makes people  nasty.

But there  is more  to her plea  than appears  on the surface. Few adults have any notion of the intense pressures  that drive teen-agers toward  sex:  for example:

"I have a little problem. I know  a lot of boys that like me-I am  an attractive girl. They always ask me, 'Come on, how about  having  some sex with me?' I always answer, 'No, I'm going to wait until I'm married. 'So the  boy will say, 'It's all right, let's  just  make  a little love ."

"But see, I'm only fourteen years old and I'm scarred to have sex  cuz  I might  get  pregnant. So what should I do when  a boy wants to have a little sex? Doctor, do you think every lady needs sex? Why?  If parents can have sex, why can't teen-agers?"

Do all teen-agers give in?

Not by a long shot. But all of them are caught  in the sexual squeeze play. On the one hand, society tries to keep the kids in cast-iron underwear. On the other hand, teens' powerful sexual feelings insist on some release.

Ronnie is sixteen, dressed in the current uniform of his clan: white bell-bottom denims, red and blue stripped undershirt, and  sandals.  He slumps low in the chair, one foot  thrown over the arm rest:

"Like, you wouldn't  believe  it, Doc. Around my house they have the 'Original Family Do-It-Yourself Anti-Sex Program."

He paused and laughed:

"No, it really ought to be called, 'The  Don't-Do-It-Yourself Program.' It comes in two unexciting flavors: one for  me and one for my sister-she's  seventeen.  I guess I get off easier. Oh, they try to scare me with VD and 'getting a girl  in trouble.' That's a laugh!  Half  the girls in my class have been  taking the pill since their periods started-there's no way they're  going to get into trouble. And even if they do,  their folks'll  get them  an abortion and they  know it.  But  my Mom really comes on strong with Connie, my sister.  Like, whenever she goes out on a date, she goes: 'Remember,  we brought you  up to be a nice girl.  Don't  let us  down.'"

Ronnie sat up in his  chair.

"Unreal!  Far out!  I mean, you should  see the look on Mom's  face! It's  like  sex was  super-bad!  I mean, if they can do it, why can't we? Do you have to have a note from your doctor or something?"

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