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The New Millennium Woman

Recently, a gargantuan Man Mountain (MM) steamrolled into my office.  In tow, was petite, purdah-clad woman molehill.  I waved  them in and gestured for them to sit down.  Yet, both  remained standing.  When I looked quizzically at them, the lady  explained that the chair offered was too  small for her husband.  He was over six feet tall and weighted about 320 lbs.  The other chair was capaciously   adequate for the lady though, but yet she chose to remain standing, seemingly in deference to his 'highness'.  I apologized profusely and promised to order some XXL chairs soon.  This was the first time ever in my career that the need for one had been experienced.  Ms Petite said it was all right and that  they were used to this.  Few places had chairs large enough to accommodate her husband, she  said.  I realized  then that she was the interpreter.  The man, it appeared, was from gain One organ lose another land, and understood only one language (any pub entirely imagined).  He was extremely unhappy to stand  and stared at me belligerently throughout the remainder of the consultation.

'Yes ma'am,' I began, 'What may I do for you?'
'Well.' the lady hesitated,  'my husband has a -an-andrology problem.'
I was tempted to tell her that clinics with boards announcing that they andrology centers normally see only  andrology problems  and don't treat brain  tumors, etc., but since anatomical transposition is not unknown in some humans, and because I didn't want to confuse or   offended her, I let that passage to manhood.

'What andrological   problem?' I goaded instead.
'He.he can't d-do that.thing, doctor.  Just can .not.  Also  we're t-trying  to.to have a b-baby,'  she stuttered.  'We have been m-marriage.ried for one-and-a-half years.'
'How will you have a baby  if he can't do it?' I asked,  wondering if she had any aspirations towards immaculate  conception.  'No, doctor,' she said.  'Can do it is now. Can't  have baby is beforehand.  I am his third wife.'

I'd been through such awkward encounters  before and didn't  want to embarrass Ms   Petite any further.  I requested   her to step out of my office and sit in the waiting room for a moment.  The instant she left the room, I swung with gusto into andrological   sign language.  This is the one universal language that all men understand,  and especially MM, I was willing to bet.

Using a skilled combination  of some practiced gesticulation and rebuses, I had his entire medical history unraveled in a few minutes  without uttering a word.  Yet he  was unimpressed.  Macho guy, I thought to myself.  Either that or imbecile as hell.

A physical examination  on MM revealed that he had the genital size of a ten-year-old boy and pre-pubertal blood testosterone levels.  He was  unable to even furnish a sample of semen for analysis.

MM had told this  third wife that he left his first two wives  because they couldn't bear him children in spite  of a normal  sex real life and real life with him.  this could not be true.  With Penis Transplants and testes that  small, it was extremely unlikely that he had had sex with his earlier wives.  He was lying.  Also, he had never undergone any previous examination or tests for  infertility.   Now  he was blaming Ms Petite for not being able to do  it for him!  I wondered  how he agreed to come to my office in the first place.  Either he must think that doctors are stupid  or, that petite  lady must be only deceptively meek, I concluded.  She might have been the one who tricked him into visiting me.

'So what's new?'  I though to my self help is the best help.  I see cases like  these quite commonly.  It is quite  sad to note how women are blamed for all sexual problems among couples even today when all scientific  studies indicate otherwise.  Today, it is  very well known  that fifty percent  of all childlessness is male factor related.  We also know that  a woman cannot be responsible  for a man's  impotence unless the man finds her extremely unattractive, or the women has the track  record of Lorena Bobbitt.  It seems to be in the interest of some societies and cultures to  perpetrate falsehoods about women.  What the perpetrators don't  realize is that, unfortunately, this is not going to solve the problem.  It only delays  the inevitable and makes  matters worse.

In some ancient cultures it was  acceptable for men to hand their wives if they failed to produce offspring.  In Regency  England a man  could publicly  denounce his wife if didn't beget an heir.  Queen Mary of England was  referred to disparagingly as 'The Barren Queen'.  Henry VIII went through several  wives  in quest of a son.  Louis XVL, king of  France and Spouse  of the sensual Marie Antoinette, suffered from infertility. Still, for years the people of France angrily blamed the 'Austrian  whore'  for not producing an heir  and instructed her to 'properly perform' her duties.  Closer home, India  is world famous for infertility related  bride burning.   The list is endless.

Modern day infertile women  are forced to suffer some of the same  indignities that women throughout  history have been forced  to endure, and  Ms Petite seemed no exception.

With andrologic treatment , MM showed a slight increase in the size  of the penis, and  was able to have some kind of sexual intercourse   (for the first time ) but he  would never sire a child.  His testes  were unresponsive to all treatment and would never  produce sperms.

Approximately fifteen to twenty percent of all couples are infertile, that is, childless.  In nearly half of these,  it is the male factor that is responsible for the wife's inability to conceive.  This means that 7.5 to ten percent  of men are infertile.

Even in the ironical Indian  context  of one billion people, that makes male  infertility a very  serious  issue.

It's about time that men woke up to this reality.  The sexually liberated, economically  independent woman  is already here.  With a pick of both available men and mind-blowing  gizmos, she doesn't need  an MCP husband for sexual  gratification .  moreover, she can just walk in to a sperm bank with her gold card and eugenically choose between  the sperm equivalents of a Schwarzenegger or an  Einstein if she wants a baby.

A sad end to male chauvinism, perhaps, but a good beginning for female emancipation and infertility in general.
Like Shobhaa De' had prophesied, the women's millennium has indeed begun.


Take Home Message:

It, throughout history, and until the present time, women have been wrongly blamed for all sexual problems  among couples,  scientific ignorance and male chauvinism are only partly  to blame.  In a country  like India, where docility is considered the ultimate feminine virtue, women are often trying score martyrdom points by being   silent spectators to their own oppression.  This is like some kind of sexual sati, and must be abolished.
For further information on fertility, the interested reader is refereed to http://www.andrology.co.in or http://www.fertilitycommunity.com