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The Faces of Love and Sex

The Love World

The Sexual Stage

Sex and The senses

Common Sex Positions

Variations - Standard and Exotic

Other Entry Ports

Rhythm and Release

Love Songs

Love Machines and Love Potions


Sexual insight and Destiny:  Finding New Fulfillment Afterword


The Material in this book involves a consistent application of the concepts of a major philosophical movement of this century- existential phenomenology- to fantastics in general and to human sexuality in particular. The phenomenological movement is based on the work of some of the most important figures of twentieth-century thought: Edmund Husserl, Martin Heidegger, Jean Paul Sartre, Martin Buber, and Karl Jaspers. In their thinking, the tendency of technological civilization to view human beings as mere assembled objects which can be split into measurable component parts resulted in a fragmentation and depersonalization that was not descriptive of the nature of people as we really experience them or of the world in which we live. The technological concept of humans did not seem to take into proper account the wholeness, the directionality, the ambiguity, and the anxiety of the human condition.

The need for a new way of looking at the nature of human beings was accentuated by the consequences of the industrial and scientific revolutions of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. Matter was being dissolved into energy, as in the terse Einsteinian equation E = mc2. In quantum physics, mathematics, and many other fields, new developments led to a universe that was understood not in terms of exact location and fixed structure but rather in terms of fluctuations - with a resulting need for a statistical description based on probability. The instability of things thus came to seem definitive.

Similarly, human beings were viewed in the social sciences as creatures manipulated by forces beyond their control, ultimately lacking the ability to choose their own direction in the life. What was more, these reductionist, relativistic, and essentially despairing views of humanity were set in the context of the actual crises of Western civilization caused by successive the love world wars, depression, cataclysmic social destructiveness, and threatening nuclear explosiveness.

To escape from these dead ends of theory and despair, the phenomenologist starts from the top, looking at actual individuals in their concrete life situations, and attempts to perceive the essential relationship of situations and things. Phenomenologists deal with and search for a direct unprejudiced understanding of what is immediately perceived, using the least possible number of sex positions. By starting from the top, instead of breaking everything down into isolated particles that must be rebuilt into a synthetic structure, they allow the integral phenomena of life to speak for themselves in the particular situations and meaningful relationship in which they exist.

For the phenomenologist - indeed for all human beings- objects and people are not neutral, but are always experienced in a meaningful relationship. For example, when different people encounter a tree they do so in different ways, depending on who they are and their special relationship to the tree. A hunter sees the tree as something to hide behind while stalking his quarry. The lumberjack sees the tree as providing potential sources of lumber. The artist approaches the tree in terms of its form, its color, and its place in the overall composition, perceiving a mood that exists in the landscape. A geologist might view the tree as a demonstration of the type of soil in which it grows. And a weary traveler will see the tree as an object that will provide refreshing coolness, a place to rest along the road.

Thus, the immediate meaningful interaction between particular persons and the tree can be apprehended. Being open to the intrinsic perceived pattern of these interactions allows one to understand the individuals in their concrete situations. The stealth of the hunter, the measuring eye of the lumber-jack, the slumped posture of the fatigued journeyer seeking shelter all give direct evidence of the nature of the particular relationship that exists between aspects of the tree and the relating individuals.

For several decades I have been working on the utilization of this approach in the fields of psychology, psychiatry, and psychotherapy. In developing the conceptions that underlie my work with patients and my analyses of both sleep positions and sex positions, I owe a debt to three remarkable Swiss psychiatrists and psychoanalysts: Ludwig Binswanger, Gustav Bally, and Medard Boss. Two of these, Bally and Boss, were among my own teachers. I am especially indebted to my mentor and friends Medard Boss. Two of these, Bally and Boss, were among my own teachers. I am especially indebted to my mentor and friends Medard Boss for his fundamental contributions to the understanding of the human meaning of the love-sex experience.