LOVE LIVES

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The Faces of Love and Sex

The Love World

The Sexual Stage

Sex and The senses

Common Sex Positions

Variations - Standard and Exotic

Other Entry Ports

Rhythm and Release

Love Songs

Love Machines and Love Potions

Fantastics

Sexual insight and Destiny:  Finding New Fulfillment Afterword

Other Entry Ports

When partners engage in sex and the senses the love Unity that they seek is most completely and most easily established through genital-to-genital contact. Sometimes, however, alternate entry ports are used, either in combination with, in addition to, or instead of the usual mutual genital contact the use of some of these alternative b is very common; others are more rarely employed. When another entry port is used, it is treated as a genital area. It becomes genitalized, so that the mouth, for instance, is no longer simply a mouth but takes on genital aspects from the point of view of the participants. But since these other entry ports are not as reactive as the sex organs themselves or are reactive in different ways, they cannot always succeed in establishing the love unity. They are not merely physical alternatives, though; some attempt at creating love machines and love potions unity is always involved.

Let us being with the most the common sex of these alternative entry ports, the hand. When one partner uses the hand to masturbate the other or both partners do so simultaneously, a very different phenomenological situation exists than that which exists when the contact is between the genitals. The hand is used to handle, to manipulate the world. It is used to order the world, to grasp it, to caress it, to tickle it, to weigh it, and to strike it. When the hand is used to manipulate the genitals of the opposite sex, it is usually the hand itself that is the active agent rather than the penis of vagina that is being manipulated. It is possible for the hand to be passive, with the penis being thrust back and forth through it, or the pelvis raised and lowered so that the vagina moves back and forth over the hand, but this is not ordinarily the case. Usually, in order for stimulation effective enough to cause orgasm to be achieved, the hand must be quite active.

The hand can be cupped so that it becomes receptacle - a substitute for he vagina. Or the fingers may be used as a substitute for the penis. Because the hand is so flexible, and its touching capacity so minutely localized in a spatial sense, it can touch the exact point that must be stimulated- the clitoris, for instance, or the frenulum of the penis -whereas in actual intercourse there is more generalized contact and stimulation.

It is important to remember that the hand is not a mere instrument, in the way that a mechanical vibrator is, for example. The hand has a tactile sensitivity of its own; it is able to feel what it touches, and there is a feedback through the nervous system to the person who is using the hand. Yet the hand is not capable of orgasm. When the genitals are interlocked in intercourse, both the penis and the vagina are active and reactive at one and the same time. But the hand is primarily active. What is important is what is happening to the genitals it touches, not what happens to the hand itself.

The hand, then is in a sense detached from what it is doing in a way that the genitals never are. Indeed, the hand may reach out over a considerable distance to touch the genitals , so that the partner whose hand is being utilized may be at a maximum physical distance from the partner who is being manipulated. Thus it is possible for the partners to keep in touch a the extreme of separation. Because the hand is not reactive, it is more bound to ordinary time than the genitals are. During intercourse, as orgasm is approached, the genitals; being to react in a way that transcends time; there is a sudden rush to meet the future, to merge with the universe, that the more objective hand cannot by itself experience. The use of the hand therefore creates a certain distancing between the partners, and only the partner who is being manipulated has the opportunity to experience the transcendence of time that is characteristic of entry into the love world. Sometimes, of course, both partners will manipulate the other simultaneously, but there is still a distance between them that does not exist when the genitals are mutually interactive.