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The Faces of Love and Sex

The Love World

The Sexual Stage

Sex and The senses

Common Sex Positions

Variations - Standard and Exotic

Other Entry Ports

Rhythm and Release

Love Songs

Love Machines and Love Potions


Sexual insight and Destiny:  Finding New Fulfillment Afterword

Sex And The Senses

Of the Five commonly known senses - sight , smell, heaving, taste, and touch the most important to the sex-love experience is touch. As mentioned in Chapter One, the human infant requires a large amount of touching in order for healthy development to take place; a lack of touching can in severe instances even causes the infant to die. Among animals and in many primitive human societies the grooming of other members of the group determines the ability to relate in an interpersonal way. Because of the importance of touch to our development, it is the sense of touch provided the only entrance though which she could arrive at an eventual understanding of the physiognomy of a world she could neither see nor hear...

The organ of touch in the human is primarily the skin. The skin contains areas of special sexual sensitivity that constitute the so-called erogenous zones. Aside from the genitals themselves, the lips and tongue are most profoundly involved in the touch-oriented aspects of sex. However, any portion of the skin may become an erogenous zone because of early stimulation patterns, natural sensitivity, or learned fantastics. There is an interesting case of a young woman with three lovers, each of whom travels extensively, so that the young woman spends only a few days with each man every few weeks. She claims that her erogenous zones changes according to which man she is with, as though adapting to each one's particular ways of making love.

The peoples of different cultures show differing degrees of tolerance or desire for touching. The Japanese are extremely touch-positive. Southern Europeans and Latin Americans exhibit strong touch behavior. The English and Scandinavians are far more reserved about touching one another. until recently Americans have shied away from open touching. Many American men, in particular, have in the past been reluctant to touch people in an affectionate, casual way. The man would embrace his wife or children in a somewhat formal manner or shake a male friend's hand, but he would seldom reach out to stroke, pat , or fondle even the members of his own family. From the late nineteenth century well into the twentieth century, such behavior was considered unmanly. There appears to have been a strong feeling, and therefore, it was ruled out except in the privacy of the marriage bed.

One fascinating study reveals that couples sitting together in Paris or Puerto Rico touch each other on the average of 100 to 200 times an hour. During the same period an American couple might exchange a pat or two, while a typical British couple would not touch at all during an hour's conversation. In the past twenty years a great deal has changed in the United States and elsewhere in respect to touching. On the part of both sexes, open affectionate touching has become increasingly prevalent among the younger age group. It is interesting that this increase in touching has coincided with the so-called sexual stage since as a general rule the more touching a person is capable of, the more likely he or she is to be open to sexual insight and love experiences.

It has been shown that clothed infants are less active than unclothed babies. Clothing apparently reduces the ability for skin stimulation and therefore inhibits activity in general. In puritanical societies it is common for some form of clothing to be worn even during sexual intercourse . Many Victorian couples never saw one another naked in the course of decades of marriage. But the connection between clothing and sexual inhibition is not merely psychological. Clothing prevents skin from touching skin and thus deprives the couple of the use of one of the major organs of sexual gratification.

Certain areas of the body are more touch-sensitive sexuality than others. Aside from the genital areas itself, the most sensitive areas for both men and women are the nipples, the navel, the armpits, inside the upper thighs, and posteriorly, the nape of the neck, the length of the spine, and the buttocks. Men are generally more sensitive in the area of the ear than women, while the sensitivity of the throat is greater in women than men. Women are, in addition, especially stimulated by a touch at the back of the knees. The majority of women readily respond to the stimulation of the nipples, but there are a surprising number who attest that they find it irritating and even painful to have their nipples fondled or sucked. Both men and women have one or two body areas that are particularly sensitive, and the these areas may vary considerably from person.

In terms of the genital organs, there is a hierarchy of sensitivity determined by here distribution in the genital area. The clitoris is the most sensitive area for woman, followed by the rim of the vagina, the inner lips (labia minora), and the outer lips (labia majora). Some women are more stimulated on one side of the genitals is the frenulum- on the underside of the penis where the glans meets the shaft- followed by the tip of the penis, the rim of the glans, the shaft, and finally, testicles. The diamond -shaped areas that lies between the genitals and the anus, called the perineal region, is sensitive for both men and women, but especially for women. And both sexes are highly sensitive in the perianal area.