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The Causes of Sexual Inadequacy

Sexual anesthesia or incompetence are usually  termed impotence when experienced by the male and frigidity  these terms since  they are not accurately  descriptive of the  various forms of disability that afflict  either sex.  Instead, we shall refer to sexual  inadequacy or difficulty in the male and female.

           Sexual  inadequacy exists when an individual  has little or no desire for sex relations, experiences  little pleasure  when stimulated, has poor ability  to commence or sustain coitus, is  unable  to reach orgasm, or  experiences  little or no satisfaction when achieving a  climax (A. Ellis, 1952a, 1960).

           The average young male or female  desires  sex relations at least  several times a month, considerably enjoys   foreplay and  coitus, is ready for  copulation  after no more than twenty  to thirty minutes of preliminary activity, remains interested in coitus   until orgasm has been experienced, achieves climax  in some form of sex activity in a good percentage of the times, and distinctly enjoys physical sex with his or her partner..

           A middle aged or older individual, naturally, is often much less sexually arousable or capable.  Even young people sometimes have no desire or ability to participate  in satisfying sex relations.  But when a young and physically healthy person consistently has little or no sex interests, competence, or satisfaction, sexual inadequacy is to be strongly suspected.

           There are many causes of sexual inadequacy, including now discuss some of the major causes.

           Organic causes of sexual inadequacy.  Although  sex deviational and incompetence usually have no organic basis, they  sometimes do.  Physical reasons for these disabilities may include sex hormone deficiencies: inborn  defects of or  the penis or vagina, prostate gland,  seminal ducts, ovary, cervix, or other accessory sex  organs  serious nutritional lacks; lesions or defects of the  central  nervous system; circulatory defects; irritations or pathological conditions of parts of the body located near the  sex organs;  general, organic ailments and diseases, such   as diabetes, myxedema, heart disorder, anemia, or leukemia; fatigue   and low vitality; over indulgency in alcohol or drugs; and normal aging  processes (Abraham, 1950; Dengrove, 1959; Hirsch, 1951,  1957; Huhner, 1946;  Walker and Strauss, 1932).

           To be even more specific, Loras (1957) mentions a number of physical infections, inflammations, and  injuries which may infest the female genital system, any one of which may lead to painful intercourse and hence  sexual   disability.  His list includes an inflamed bartholin gland, labial tear, infected clitoris, vaginal tear , inflamed  urethra, inflamed bladder, genital warts, sore vestiges of a ruptured  hymen, vaginal  cysts  and polyps, inflamed vulva ( vulvitis), and a lacerated cervix or cervical  cancer.

           Kleegman (1959) and Cauldwell (1959) agree that  vaginismus (vaginal spasm) and dyspareunia (painful intercourse) can  easily be caused by physical   lesions or  infections or inflammations  of the female's  vaginal   tract.  Kleegman, after several decades as a practicing gynecologist, believes that fully eighty-five percent of women homosexuals suffer   from dyspareunia have small and  undetected vaginal or vulval  lesions  which may be corrected by proper medical  and surgical procedures.

           As far the evidence that certain  physical  diseases and   ailments of a general nature may well  lead to sexual disability, this is becoming more  and more overwhelming as  medical findings become more precise.

           Thus, A. Rubin (1958) has convincingly shown that in diabetic males from the age of  thirty to thirty-four year on, the cumulative incidence of  impotence was two  to five times as high as in the population of presumably normal   males studied  by Kinsey and his associates.  The incidence of impotence by five-year age groups gradually increased from twenty-five percent in the thirty to thirty-four years  age group to almost seventy-five percent in those sixty to sixty-four years of age.

           Although, therefore, there is every reason to believe   that perhaps   ninety percent of male  and seventy  to eighty  percent of female sexual inadequacy  is of psychological origin, it  still must   not be forgotten  that physical  factors can play an  important part in some case and that it is  rash to assume that the inadequacy is psychologically  caused until the possibility of organic involvement is thoroughly investigated.

           Sexual  inadequacy, contrary to widespread  belief, is rarely caused by undersized sex organs.  A man  who has a small  penis can usually  satisfy his wife and himself quite well, especially when he and his mate  employ certain coital positions (such as rear entry or front  entry with the female's legs together, as  descried in the  chapter before   this one) where the  wife's vagina becomes fore shortened or narrower.  A woman who a small vagina, instead of being sexually inadequate, often gets and gives more pleasure than one with a larger vagina because contact between  her organs  and the  man's penis then tends to be closer and friction is more enjoyable.

           When a man has a very large penis or a woman an  unusually wide  vagina, special adjustments will often have to be made and in extreme cases  extra genital techniques  will have to be resorted to for full satisfaction.  The size of the organs themselves,  however, rarely cause sexual  inadequacy or incompatibility  between mates,  except for psychological reasons.

           Thus, a man may feel inferior because  he has a small penis and may, because  of his feelings, talk himself  into becoming  sexually inadequate.   Or a woman may feel that her own vagina is too large or too small or that   her husband's penis is over or undersized;  and because  of her  childish or irrational attitudes  may experience little  or no sex fulfillment in her marriage.

           Again: many individuals are unduly concerned about their physical characteristics. Females may be disturbed about the size of their breasts or males about their height or their weight.  Out of this over concern for their own (or for their partner's) physique, such individuals may easily create  sexual inadequacies in themselves (or help make their mates feel inadequate); but here   again we are dealing with  psychological rather than true physical or  organic   causes of sexual disability.

           Relationship causes of sexual inadequacy.  Sexual anesthesia and disability frequently  arise because of sex, love, marital, or other   disturbances  in the relationship between the disabled person and his or her mate.  Relationship inadequacies may include overcoming inadequacy and affection between the mates: conscious or unconscious hostility or conflict; use of poor sexual techniques; the mate's inhibitions  or inadequacies; and the aging of the  mate (Lanval, 1950b, 1951; Salzman, 1954; Van Emde Boas, 1950).

           Most of the  time, lack of love and consideration is the basic   issue.  In the case of  thirty-two-year-old  married  woman who recently came to be fro marriage counseling and who complained that she had lost virtually all   sex desire, even though for the  first  few years  of marriage  she had been an ardent sex  partner  several times each  week, it soon became  clear that she bitterly  resented her   husband's lack of love and consideration. Instead  of ever doing  the things she wanted to do,  helping   her with the children or the housework, or even talking to her about business and other  affairs, he worked, night after night, at his  large stamp collection and showed virtually no interest in anything else.

           After many months of quiet sulking about his inconsiderate behavior, the wife withdrew sexually, had many fantasies about almost every male (and movie start) whom she saw, and made no effort to obtain or give satisfaction when her husband showed (as, surprisingly, he often did) sex performance.

           When I saw  the husband in this case and squarely presented to him the point  that he could hardly expect his wife  to be sexually thrilled with his presence when being  in bed was  literally the only time she had  a chance to speak to him, he was  at first shocked and resistant, since he had a picture of himself as a fine husband, who stayed home every night, did not run around with other women, and was a good economic provider.

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