Love Marriage


Q.79. Is love marriage better and more successful than traditional arranged marriage?

Ans. Love is an emotional craving and a sort of fixation with the person of opposite gender who is within reach and for the fulfillment of passions as well as purpose of reproduction. It indicates an infatuation and addiction of romance. A lover is a person who casts sexuality in the sexual behaviour and must be differentiated from an admirer who becomes impressed without necessarily being sexually aroused. Here we are not talking about love with genetically related persons who are loved as being part of the self.

Love marriage helps the couple to adjust better in life because of better understanding between the two partners before marriage. However the practical aspect is that thee are more chances of familial maladjustment in love marriage who become infatuated by some particular qualities in their fiancées. The romantic love of dating period vanishes after marriage while the sacrifices required for keeping up a happy familial life are usually not there due to wrong unrealistic adjustment and higher mutual expectations in the pregnancy-marital period. A man tends to be a good lover prior to marriage. After marriage when sex fulfillment occurs, the whole scene changes. If the lovers have undergone sexual stages of intercourse prior to marriage, the man tends to run away without marrying. A fair number of cases are such in which a young girl may fall in love with a middle aged man who may even be married. Arranged marriages give more emphasis on the lasting values rather than superficial values of love marriage. The family and society are more intensely involved in an arranged marriage are with pure and innocent feelings, respectability for each other and patience to understand the view point of the other get slowly and gradually involved deeper and deeper into love and tend to assimilate the personality of each other. the expectations from the spouse are usually less and disappointment is less. Lovers usually have more developed, aggressive, rigid and anti-social personalities. The traditional well tested arranged marriage with the life values prove better than the modern love marriage.
Of course, the two partners should like each other at the time of arrangement of marriage so that love should grow with the passage of time rather than love first and marriage later. What can be accepted is that the initial love of boy and girl should be approved by both the families after sympathetic consideration of their wishes and their marriage arranged rather than the individuals going their own way into love marriage.

Necessity of Marriage

Q.80. Is marriage a basic necessity of life?

Ans. Yes, marriage is a basic necessity of life as it provides vent to sexual needs which constitutes the strongest urge of a person and fulfils the purpose of reproduction which is the most important duty of all living begins by conforming to social expectations. If these purposes are fulfilled without age of marriage, the social fabric is thoroughly disturbed and children are not cared well along with the latter becoming soft target of sexual advancement by men. Single unmarried person and concubinage tend to denigrate the socio-sexual values. Marriage is the greatest need of life where the couple experience the emotional feelings of togetherness and are supportive of each other at all times.