SEXUAL CHEMISTRY

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What is Sexual Chemistry?

Beyond the Spoken Word

Metacommunication

Of Pheromones and Fantasy

Love and the Amphetamines

Image Projection

Risking

Labeling

Barriers and Blocks

Keeping Sexual Chemistry Alive

The Many Phase of Sexual Chemistry

Mirroring and Mentors

Effects and Stages

Risking

Strange Thing Your Self

While there is a great deal of agreement among men and women, old and young, rich and poor as to what is attractive in someone else, there is very little agreement about what is attractive in ourselves Sexual Chemistry.  We do not see ourselves as others see us.  We gloss over our faults just as we gloss over our good points.  The problem is, we know ourselves too well, and we allow that self-knowledge to influence our judgment.

In a doctoral thesis for West Virginia university , Norman Cavior discovered that three quarters of a group of schoolgirls thought that they were the least attractive girls in their class.  As a rule, Cavior concluded, girls are so obsessed with the little things wrong with themselves that they fail to see what’s equally wrong with everyone else.

And when little girls grow up, they aren’t much different.  Compliment your average women on her hair or her dress, and she’ll almost automatically find some way to put herself down.  “My hair needs washing – I was going to have it set. ” “Oh, this old thing? It’s been in the closet for years. ”

Can you strengthen your won self- Image Projection? Are there way s of developing a stronger self? Or are we all doomed to go through life with the same self –image we have now?

Yes to the first two questions, and no to the third.  We can change our self-image, and there are many ways to do it.  One way is through the feedback method of body language.  All of us have a body language that matches our personality.  You can tell a timid, uncertain person by the hesitant way he acts, a depressed person by his slumping posture, and a self-assured one by the way she carries herself, the fact that she sits in an open receptive position, makes eye contact readily, and is quick to smile, unafraid of showing emotion.

If you wish to strengthen your own self-image, you can imitate the body language of a self-confident person.  If you do this often enough, you begin to feel more self-confident, more sure of yourself, and in turn that allows you to act self-confident more easily.  A feedback mechanism is started, whereby the posture you assume affects your personality, and your personality in turn affects your posture.

At first you are only pretending to be self-confident, but after a while it is less and less pretense and more and more permanent change toward self-confidence.  The change is small at first, but it is constant, and if you Keeping Sexual Chemistry Alive it up over a long period of time your inner self will become stronger and more assured.  Psychologist have used the method successfully to treat depressed patients as well as patients who hold themselves in low esteem.

There are other ways of strengthening your inner self, and one of the most successful is risking.  Bart is a classic example of someone who had a problem with risking, with taking a chance.  Not in business, because he was doing well in this profession, but on a personal level.

“Right now I have a problem with Margo,” he told us.  “I met her while I was out jogging.  We both hit the track behind the high school each morning at the same time, and we’d talk to each other as we ran.

“There was something about Margo that turned me on from the moment I met her.  That wild red hair of hers –and her of Pheromones And Fantasy stride …Anyway, I’m dying to go out with her, but I just can’t get up the never to ask her. ”

“But why not?” we asked.  “What’s the worst that can happen? You ask her and she says no.  is that so bad?”

Bart looked uneasy.  “If she turned me down I’d feel too humiliated to see her again. ”

“Come on, it’s not the end of the Beyond The Spoken Word.”

“But why take a chance? As it is, we have fun running.  If I ask her out and she says no, everything will be different. ”

In any kind of risk, the fear of rejection is a powerful obstacle.  Bart, in his early twenties, had gone through life afraid to take a chance that would leave him vulnerable, open to rejection.  After talking to us, Bart finally summoned up enough courage to risk asking Margo for a date- and to his dismay she did turn him down, gracefully, but still it was a rejection.

“I thought I would die,” Bart said.  “I felt so humiliated, so crushed.  I had offered something and had been refused.  I spent a miserable week.  In fact, I went to the track an hour earlier each day just to avoid Margo-and that’s how I met Shelly. ”

Shelly was a runner too, a bright, witty woman who liked the same things Bart did, who worked in the same field, and was, like Bart, a trivia freak.  They began by trading trivia as they ran.  “When I found  out she knew all four countries in the Land of Oz, I fell in love with her,” Bart told us.  “But there is was.  Did I dare take a chance and ask her out? Especially after the terrible experience I had had with Margo.  But then I asked myself, how terrible was it? I survived, and I feel just as excited about shelly as I was about Margo- more so.  So I asked her out and she said sure, and tonight’s the night!”

What Bart learned was that you can survive rejection and still live a full, normal life.  The chances were pretty good that Shelly wouldn’t reject him.  how many men know the names of all seven dwarfs? But even if she did, he knew he’d survive.