Which Aspects of Your life Need Healing?

The Healing Touch

Setting the State for a Healing Relationship

Sexual Fitness

Becoming a Sexual Healer

Using Lovemaking to heal Emotional and Mental Problems

Becoming a Sexual Healer- Advanced Exercises

How to Be a Sexual Healer with Intercourse

Lovemaking to Heal Physical Ailments

Healing Man's Sexual Problems

Healing Woman's Sexual Problems

Lovemaking to Heal Your Relationship

Spiritual Healing through Lovemaking


Working through part one, you have learned the fundamentals of healing touch, emotional connection, sexual fitness, and arousal. These fundamental will allow you to move successfully through the specific sexual healing exercises and programs that follow.

To unlock the power of advanced, sexually oriented exercises, you need to become comfortable and familiar with the sensate focus caresses in Chapter 2.  This is the touch that will heal you and your partner. The bonding exercises in chapter 3 ensure that you and  your partner have laid the intimate emotional foundation to enter fully into sexual healing work, which bypasses sexual  defenses.  It is also important that you have been doing  the sexual  defenses.  It is also  important that you have been doing the sexual fitness exercises in chapter 4, so that you have the instincts  and PC muscle  ability to do the beginning  sexual healer  exercises in Chapter 5.  And last, the  relaxation  and arousal exercises in Chapter 6 show you how to bring  these things together in a sexual context  without pressure and prime you for working  together with your partner.  Once you have worked through these you will be ready to put them all together and try some very advanced  exercises for sexual arousal and orgasm.

Each of the exercises in this chapter and the following  chapters  addresses a particular aspect of sexual healing.  They  are more focused  and more intense  than the exercises you have done up to this point,  especially those with sexual intercourse , so be prepared for the resonance you will feel.

Whenever  you do any exercise in the program, be sure to set aside  enough  time (usually an hour for most exercises) and work in a room with no distractions.  It is  very important that you take  the time to spoon breathe at the beginning of the session, during  the role switch,  and at the end of the exercise, so that  you center  yourselves  before entering into the exercise and you ground yourselves after it.  I'll remind you to do so at the  beginning  of each exercise description.  Make sure you don't skip or skimp on this you need gentle touching to open   yourselves  to emotional  and sexual connection and transition out of it.  otherwise you may not find yourself able to focus during  the exercises or you may not find  yourself  able to focus  during the exercises or you may feel very vulnerable after them.  If the main exercise involves the genitals  and intercourse, be sure to do focusing caresses (short back or front caresses ) so that you are both  relaxed.

The advanced  exercises  in this chapter are intended to deepen your bond and heal your relationship through  the power of sexual arousal.  The exercises in this chapter  will help you learn  and become in tune with your partner's sexual response.  You will also lean to be highly aware of your own sexual response, and how to communicate about it in an open, non demanding, pressure free way.

Remember, when you are the active  partner, touch for your own pleasure.  when you are the passive partner, allow yourself to simply enjoy the sensations.  These  exercises may be advanced, but don't forget the basics of touch  focus,  breathe, relax.  The only things you should be thinking about when doing these exercises are the basics , and enjoying yourself  and loving your partner.

Sensuous oral sex

After you have done the genital caress with your partner often enough to be comfortable  with it, you are ready to explore oral sex.  Sensuous oral sex is another variation on the genital  caress.  But before I describe the exercise, let me say a few words about  oral sex in general.

Many people have either never experienced oral sex or find the practice unappealing.  Others perform oral sex and either do not enjoy it, or feel coerced into it, or do it to please the other person. They simply want to get it over with. Oral sex is probably associated with more anxiety than any other sexual practice, including healer with intercourse.

Many sexual self help books talk about oral sex as though there are techniques  you can perform that will guarantee orgasm for your partner, or techniques that every man or every woman will enjoy all the time. This is misleading.  Being able to  enjoy oral sex both giving  and receiving depends more on how relaxed and focused you are than it does on any technical  prowess.

If you hold negative attitudes  toward oral sex, relax.  There is nothing inherently gross or dirty about our genitals.  If your partner has washed his or her genitals and is free of infection, you have nothing to worry about.

I encourage you to experience oral sex in the context of a sensate focus exercise  because there are few things as delightful as giving or receiving a sensuous, pressure free oral genital caress.  You may be surprised to find that when the performance  aspect  is removed from oral sex,  you will like it.

The exercise for a man begin caressing your partner with a front caress, then slowly  being stroking her genitals with your hand.  Have your partner lie down or sit leaning back with her legs spread apart so you can comfortably put  your face between  her legs. She can prop her buttocks up with a pillow so your neck does  not get sore.

As the active partner, you do an oral caress with your tongue  the same way you did a genital caress with your hand.  Keep your lips, tongue, chin, and neck as relaxed as you can. Slowly  move your tongue  along your partner's inner things, outer vaginal  lips, and inner vaginal lips.  Let your tongue  glide over her clitoris, and flick in and out of her vagina.  You may also  want to use your lips.

Focus on the exact point of contact, and explore how the different parts of your partner's genitals feel and taste on the different parts of your mouth.  If your tongue, chin, or neck starts to get tired or sore, change positions and relax.  You may find yourself holding your tongue too stiffly in order to please your partner.

Don't stiffen your tongue and rub it forcefully against her clitoris.  Don't forcefully suck or slurp at her vaginal lips.  And don't use your  fingers.  If you insert a finger into her vagina  or rub her clitoris while you lick her vagina, your partner will probably interpret these actions as demand to respond.  Whether  or not she is aware of this, she will remain anxious  and not be able to relax.  The  point of the exercise is for you to enjoy the sensations in your mouth and for your partner to be able  to relax.  The point of  the exercise is for you to enjoy the sensations in your   mouth and for your partner to be able to relax and enjoy  herself  with no demands on her to show how much  she likes it.

The exercise for a woman  have your partner sit or lie back in  a comfortable  position, and spend a few minutes on a  front  caress.  Then gently  caress your partner's genitals with your hand for a few minutes until you are both focused  and relaxed.

Lower you head to his pelvis and slowly  use your tongue and lips to lick all over his thighs and penis and scrotum. Explore  freely, and do what  makes your tongue  feel good.  Lick the area behind the testicles. Insert your tongue into the  creases between the thighs and scrotum. You may want to take his whole penis in your mouth and slowly let it back out again. Experience how each different area feels and tastes on  your lips and tongue.

Don't put pressure on your partner or yourself. Think of your own pleasure, not your partner's. don't suck on the penis in such a way that your head moves up and down only your tongue and  lips should move during this exercise. If your neck or tongue becomes tired or sore, move into a different position. Your tongue should remain relaxed and not stiff.  If you feel pressured to perform, stop and caress some other part of your partner's body until  you feel that you are focused enough to enjoy  the sex therapy  again.  It is best if you respond  to what you want, rather than what you think your partner wants.

If your partner indicates that he is about to ejaculate, decide whether to take the semen in your mouth or whether to temporarily stop the caress while your partner ejaculates.  If you are not through with the caress, wipe off the semen and continue.

Don't use your hand to masturbate your partner during this caress.  Remember, you are doing this  caress only for your own pleasure and to heal. It doesn't matter whether your partner gets aroused, has an erection , or ejaculates. What does matter is that you do what  feels  good for you and that you focus on the sensations in your mouth during the caress.To recap the sequence  Spoon breathing and focusing caress-Genital caress-Oral caress.

One word of caution to both partners no biting. No matter how aroused, playful, or comfortable you feel, do not bite your partner's genitals. These are some of the most  sensitive  tissues in the human body, and if you do  anything abrupt or hurtful during  this exercise, your partner may never forgive you.