Marriage Before and After the Ceremony

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1: SEXUAL ATTRACTION AND REPULSION

2: MATE SELECTION

3: LOVE

4: MARRIAGE

5: FAMILY PLANNING

6: CHILDREN

 


 

 

Marriage Before and After the Ceremony

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Marriage


The Engagement

long engagement or a short one? The answer is: None at all. Roughly half of all engagements are being broken. Roughly a quarter of all marriages end in divorce.

The whole institution of engagement has lost its point because it was introduced at a time when royal houses had a knit links of power complex between kings and queens, princes and princesses, who had never laid eyes on each other. the rising class of artisans and merchants who founded our present of their social ascendancy there was a measure of justification in retaining the institution of engagement. For a long time it was needed to tie the financial bonds on which bourgeois marriage was based up to the early nineteenth century.

But now a days few of us marry without knowing each other. few of us marry because our parents want to link our two families ' fortunes. If we "engage" ourselves, there is no need to formalize that fact. If two young people decide to set up a joint household to find out if they fit growing old together, they don't have to announce it with printed cards signed by the bride's parents. in fact, most parents would be pretty embarrassed if they found out that was what their kids meant by "engagement." Yet what else can it reasonably mean?

So what about the diamond ring that girls love to flash around the office to the envy of their colleagues? My advice is: Buy a pressure cooker instead. You'll have to feed your than likely that both of you will be working at this time, the only way you can get a decent home-cooked meal for your future husband within a few minutes after getting home from work is a good pressure cooker. And nothing serves a young marriage (or a young couple in love) better to create a climate of peace and affection than a good home-cooked meal and a bottle of red wine. All problems will then seem very much smaller. The husband will realize what he's been missing all those years since he left mother's house. The wife will begin to realize that she can cope with all those household chores that used to terrify her at times. Both will begin to relax. The first ground work for a happy marriage has been laid.

The Wedding

Now what about the formalities? Who should arrange the wedding? How big should it be? Church or civil? Who should be invited and who should be left out? My answer is the same as in the case of an engagement. The chances of a marriage succeeding are so small that I should hate to run the risk of making a fool of myself by fussing about something that may well be dead in three months' time. A marriage and a wedding are two different things. Marriage is the most important step in your life. A wedding is a mere ceremony.

Therefore, unless it makes parents desperately unhappy, go to the IP or the church of your choice with as few people as possible. Don't announce anything. Save your money. If it works, so much the better. Make your first wedding anniversary something like a wedding day. But don't run the risk of announcing something as eternal that may last only few weeks. It's too humiliating. But these suggestions are impracticable in a great many cases where the wife feels cheated unless she has a great big wedding with all the ceremonies and all the fuss and all the heartbreak that weddings usually entail. So a large wedding may be necessary.

It is an outdated practice to let the bride and her female relatives plan and manage the wedding with all its details. .. The husband ought to have as much right as his bride in organizing this most important day of his life. Conversely, when it comes to the organization of the honeymoon, if any, the bride ought not to go to the other extreme and let him make all the plans, foot all expenses (that is, if she is earning any money herself or has brought any into the marriage), and book all rooms. The reason is simple. If both haven't lived together yet, the husband will be scared out of his wits, however much he pretends to be on top of the situation.


The Honeymoon