Achieving complete Sexual Fulfillment

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Achieving complete Sexual Fulfillment

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Where To Make Love


We have mentioned at the beginning of the section on intercourse that the location of the love act can have a strong bearing upon the psychological reaction to it. I well remember a patient who told me of the first time she had intercourse with a man from whom she had been separated for a year and with whom she was very much in love. Only after they had made love did she discover that he had taken her to his roommate's bed in the apartment shared by the two bachelors. He did this for the very simple reason that his roommate had a larger bed with a better mattress and he knew that they would be more comfortable there. But to this sensitive young woman the thought that her lover had not taken her in his bed dampened the pleasure of her aftermath consider- ably. She was quite firm about requesting that he get his own bed in shape for the sexual fulfillment relationship. This may be difficult for a man to understand, but the symbolism of such things is important to a woman.

No matter how great the excitement of the moment, a parked car, the romantic-fiction idea of love on a moon swept beach or in a grassy glade leaves much to be desired. It may be romantic as an idea but there are so many obvious, practical considerations that can disrupt or intrude upon the comfort of both, and the steady, unimpeded growth of hidden desires, that these are poor substitution for a bed and complete privacy. This means, no fear of intrusion, no need to rush, no fear of sounds being overheard.

And let's take a moment and talk about the all-important object, the bridal bed.

The Marriage Bed

Since this is a book primarily written for the American reader, let me warn, like so many others, against the national disaster, twin beds. Your bed is the center of your marriage. If the bed is too small for proper love-making-nearly all twin beds are-or if it consists of two parts, you admit at the start of your marriage that you are of divided mind.

Twin beds are not only the death of love; they are so dangerous that they can prevent love from ever growing. Love overcomes us so suddenly and so unpredictably that it must be fulfilled at once. The small step-it seems small- from one bed to the other may be deeper than the chasm that divides two mountains, wider than the Pacific Ocean, longer than the distance that separates desire from fulfillment. You can only make love in a bed that is at least four and a half feet wide, and preferably five. It should be hard. More than of all
sexual positions that a normal couple will practice permit insufficient contact for both man and woman if the bed is too short. So if your room is too small to let you put in a proper double bed, or if your mattress is too soft, make love on the floor. Spread a sheet or a blanket. If you have a couple of good rugs, you're got the best thing for lovemaking that there is. The Orientals knew what they were doing when they though of carpets not only as something to walk on.

There are people to whom a straight forward discussion of these essentials of sexual intercourse is somehow objectionable. I have met ignorant folk who talk about "sex" as being "nasty." Well, speaking as a physician, I can assure you that on purely medical grounds the opposite is true. The sexual boredom process is an essential one to cleanse out the organism and get rid of a good many chemical substances that causes mental and physical suffering if they are not removed.