A lovely girl

A Rotten Night’s Sleep

A Shocking

A Shudder

A Side-Turning

A Struggling

All This Mainlining On Words

Cabinet Mirror

Catha Suddenly

Face Up

Fair Enough

Fair- Mindedness

Flying Buttress  in Bronze

For Chrissake

Fuel Cables

Full Of Echo's

Gold Chain Around His Neck

Half- Stefan Crossing

Having To Work


I Never Went Back

I Want To See You

In a Minute

In Frankfurt

In Hertfordshire

In Marxist

I could feel his tongue in my ear.

In Sussex

John Marx Stefanovitch


Kiss the envelope  for luck

Letter from Alison to Stefan

Letter  from Stefan to Alison

Listen Darling

Malleus malefactum

Mmmm’ Noises.

Mortality In Relation

My Beloved

Nancy Friday

‘Observe the wolf pack.

Our Relationship

Out- Stretched

Own Glass Still

A Shocking

Roy went back to work the sorbonne next day but  the German boyfriend  moved in and I would have given Mary notice but the woman who ran the pregnancy-Montessori thing-refused to have Samantha back when I let drop  inadvertently about the doctor’s  suspicion. She said it was wildly irresponsible of me to have brought  Samantha   anywhere near the  place when several of her mums were pregnant.  All in all, it was hardly surprising that I had little time to think of anything much all  week.  So on Wednesday I went and sat on a bench in the park for the sole purpose of having a think.  My mind went  completely blank.  I tidied     my handbag instead, found the credit –card  I had lost and    indulged  in a short burst of panic buying.  Three   pairs of pants and  two meters of diamante so that I could   slit the  crutch and   sew  the glitter round the edge to frame  my  cunt.  And the  only reason I never  got  round to doing  that  was that  by the time I had returned  home Mary had  packed her bags and left with the boyfriend.  No note of thanks to me, and Samantha had been callously deposited with the  neighbour I was not speaking to because her dog used my front path every day.  As it  turned out the neighbour offered to babysit   for me on Thursday and I threw away my tin of Pet Pepper.  It had not worked anyway.

The foregoing will help  to explain why I was feeling more nervous than usual when I arrived at seymour’s with Alison.  To compensate for my nerves I had  dressed boldly.  A  black lace bra with gold flowers embroidered   where my breasts brimmed over the cup and then  a satin-and lace camisole top.  Black pants with gold stars, suspender belt, and  garter with gold  buckle above my left  knee, a half slip that just  failed  to cover  the gap between my pants and stocking top. A crimson silk shirt and huge padded peasant  skirt with  silk fringing that swept from the hem to one hip.  Even the neighbour who had come to babysit said I looked great, and so did Alison. But the minute I saw her I realized she had   an unfair  advantage.  She wore a  white cotton shirtwaister.  Noting else.   She was too warm to bother with underclothes, she said.  Yet how could this fail to be my evening?  I held   the cards  I  had read both  their  hands.  I was  going to win.
            Seymour  was in a different mood from the last time I saw him. He was more animated.  He had music on  loud and was half-way  through a litre of wine and inhaling  really deep from a fat joint.  The  only other thing I noticed  when I entered the sitting room was that:  the footstool was in position  at the end of the coffee-table.  This made  me feel a little worried  for Lali so I turned back towards her. But she had  taken Seymour’s wine glass from his hand  and was emptying it with her head  thrown back.  She had the air  of someone in control of a situation.  Seymour  did not look face up to watch  her  but  received  his empty wine glass in his left hand whilst gesturing  me with his    right  to refill it.  I did so.  As I straightened up Lali smiled gently down on the me and winked.  I smiled back.  She said  she was just  going to  nip in the bathroom  and went.  I sat down opposite Seymour  with the  coffee-table  between    us.  As I did so  he smiled across at me and winked.  I smiled   back.
            So far the whole thing  was  going very well.  You see, I do need to be needed.  Needing  to be needed  is a  sort of  congenital condition with me.  If the  milkman does  not  smile at me, if the   taxi-driver frowns, I take it  very personally.  If I get the  engaged signal  when I  phone   a friend, I feel almost  as bad as if the friend had hung  up on me.  Which is also  why, when an au pair leaves me, I feel it like a stab through  the heart.  I know  all this is irrational, of course, but it might  make sense of my satisfaction  at this  moment.   Both  my conspirators  had   winked at me.   I was the sole  confidante of each.   Goodness, but they needed   me.
            This cosy feeling vanished without trace as soon as Alison reappeared in the doorway.  She was naked except  for a false moustache.  The effect was startling.  Far from  disfiguring her,   the little thing with curled-up  ends above   her upper lip gave her a jaunty, profligate air. I half expected her to hum and soft-shoe  shuffle into  ‘As I walked along the Bois de Boulogne with an independent air,  I heard the girls declare…’  But  she moved unconcernedly to the center of the room raising her arms to untwist  the thread of gold ribbon that  was still wound into her hair.  I saw in a flash why Stefan  must have her.  In outward appearance she was   the very distillation of femininity, yet  she could be audacious with her masculinity.  In the same way  that stefan, for all his machismo, would never deny his  femininity- would dance and make a daisy chain for his  hair- she would wear a moustache.  At such moments  they  had a shocking and rogynous quality that set them apart.  From me,   certainly from Seymour.  Yes, suddenly I realized   
just how conventional Seymour  was and   how much he needed   the slow build-up  of tension that  was enhanced by barriers of clothes.  Not only might  he feel  threatened    by the moustache but he might  be angry at such a display of instant  availability.  Poor Seymour.  On the other hand this might give him just the incentive   he was looking for  to tie her up.



Remember celebrating

Seafood Filling



Seymour Warned


Socio Economic

Soul Love

Stefan to Alison

Stefan winked.


Stefanovitch speaking

Straggers Backwards

The Best Nurturing

The Heart of Paris

The Insidiousness

The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,

The Priest and the Penitent

The Shutters

The Sorbonne

Then Leave It

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