A lovely girl

A Rotten Night's Sleep

A Shocking

A Shudder

A Side-Turning

A Struggling

All This Mainlining On Words

Cabinet Mirror

Catha Suddenly

Face Up

Fair Enough

Fair- Mindedness

Flying Buttress  in Bronze

For Chrissake

Fuel Cables

Full Of Echo's

Gold Chain Around His Neck

Half- Stefan Crossing

Having To Work


I Never Went Back

I Want To See You

In a Minute

In Frankfurt

In Hertfordshire

In Marxist

I could feel his tongue in my ear.

In Sussex

John Marx Stefanovitch


Kiss the envelope  for luck

Letter from Alison to Stefan

Letter  from Stefan to Alison

Listen Darling

Malleus malefactum

Mmmm' Noises.

Mortality In Relation

My Beloved

Nancy Friday

'Observe the wolf pack.

Our Relationship

Out- Stretched

Own Glass Still

Cabinet Mirror

'Hi.' His eyes did not waver from the television. He was watching a cartoon. Tom and Jerry.
Whilst pretending to watch Tom pretending to make friends with the bulldog next door in order to hide in his kennel to spring out on Jerry, I studied Stefan 's face up for a sign of anger, inner turmoil or suffering however !'mall. I was momentarily impressed by the fact that he had not shaved, but then his total absorption in cartoons seemed to preclude any such niceties.
'Stefan, why are you watching this?'
'TV is very instructive.' Still he did not look away from the screen. 'Especially  Tom and Jerry.'
'I suppose you mean the way they hit each other all the time.
'No. Because they can't live without each other, darling.' He smiled, but only briefly. 'They demonstrate that incompatibility is the soundest basis for a relationship.'
'One of them should leave home and the other stay.' 'Then there'd be no story.' I sat through half of a second cartoon before I started to cry. Perhaps I had wanted him to beat me. I deserved to be shouted at, at least. I longed for his violence and obscenity. All he said was, 'Want a drink?'
I shook my head.
'Why?' He coolly poured himself another own glass still from the bottle beside his chair. 'Don't tell me it's too early  'And he glanced at his watch. 'No, it's twelve.'
'Stefan, won't you sit beside me?'
He moved immediately onto the sofa so that his shoulder touched mine. But he remained self-contained. Really, the way he could ignore a person was worse than a slap in the face. I wanted to block his line of vision to that screen. I wanted to sit astride him with my pussy exposed.
'Stefan,' I said. 'I'm crying.' And I cried a little more.
'Yes.' He stood up suddenly, flicked the television off and turned to look down at me. 'But then tears of self-pity don't impress me. In your case, what else can you do but pity yourself? After the way you've behaved.'
'You don't mean with Seymour and Julia?'
'You know I don't. I think I'll shave.'
'But stefan.'
He went into the bathroom. There was no way I was going to sit around to be treated like this, I followed him and spoke straight to his face in the cabinet mirror.
'D 'you really think I'm going to tolerate being treated like a schoolgirl? Made to feel ashamed?'
'Oh, are you?' He picked up his razor. 'Oh dear,' 'Sent to Coventry. Stood in a corner,'
He switched his razor on. 'Well, let me see now.' We both watched as he stretched his cheek to expose the stubble to the razor.
'I could turn the shower onto cold. Stand you under it. Bend you over. Pull your skirt up over your head and spank your bottom. Would that make your visit to me more worth while?'
I walked straight out of the bathroom and slammed the door hard. I could still hear his razor droning on, I opened the door and slammed it again harder. This was getting ridiculous. The door opened from the bathroom side and his voice said, 'Once more I'll do what I suggested. But not till I've finished shaving.'
Naturally I ignored him. I went over to the window where the curtains were still drawn and pulled one open to look out. seafood filling All I lacked was a gym tunic and panama hat. I could scarcely credit the way I was carrying on. It was so out of character. I took a couple of deep breaths.
What was I thinking of? I was known for being rational, sophisticated and discreet in the conduct of my affairs. If anyone behaved like a spoilt child, it was usually the man. Because, as Catha said, 'A man lives by his cock and makes his judgments with his cock. And as Gertrude Stein might've said, "A cock is a cock is a cock ", and once you have had one, darling, you might as well go down on a Dairy Milk Flake thereafter. ' And my sexual affairs apart, those of my business life had always been run in a calm and adult way too. I would not explain the failure of a business contract as being due to anal regression. So I refused to accept my failure with Stefan in those sexual terms . I had to think positive. I had to leave.
'Well?' he put his head round the bathroom door. 'Have you decided what you want of me?'
All I wanted was the-avalanche for him to fuck me. That was positive enough. But all I said was, 'Stefan, there's no need for you to go to Spain.'
'I must go.' He seemed to have forgotten how much he loved me or that he had asked me to go with him and stay with him forever.
He came into the room and flung a towel onto the sofa back. 'I shan't ever return here.'
'You've said that before. You're just being an arseholes.'
'This time I mean it. This city is the ash-can of civilization's decay.'
'You mean your corruption is no longer thrown into sharp enough relief in London?'
'I am not corrupt.' He came to face me. 'Because I don't delude myself. Because I don't hang on to my old inhibitions in order to give myself an air of threadbare gentility. England's a duchess at a tea-party wearing a dead rose in her withered cunt. I don't want to stay with her. You stay and nurse her in a minute her extremity if you want. But without me your cunt will be as dry as hers.'
'My cunt is wet.'
'That won't last. Meanwhile if it distresses you, stick some alum up it. I believe that's what nuns used to do to dry theirs out.'
'Why d 'you always have to find a grandiose excuse for going off to your farm? I mean, don't you think the ash-can of civilization's decay is pushing it a bit?'
He walked away to the far side of the room and leant against the wall with his arms folded. 'I may not stay in Spain for more than a year. I'm on a south-east trajectory. I'll be in New Zealand in five years.'
'Rubbish. '
'I've already bought land there.'
'You'll be back here next year. Please say it.' 'I've sold the aeroplane.'
He knew this would impress me with his seriousness. He had often explained how, when he slid shut the cockpit roof over himself in his twin Comanche, he was wearing his second skin. So much so that had he believed in reincarnation he would have known For Chrissake sure that next time around he was to be a skylark or an eagle. Apart from that there was nothing fanciful in his need for an aircraft. A fixed-wing was no status symbol to him, he said. But he had to move fast within the demands of his own time-scale, he said. He could afford a new and more sophisticated craft, but he was fond of this one that had served his purpose for years. Its only drawback was that it was not rated for aerobatics. But he had overcome even that. One simply cut the engine and went into a free fall, figure-of-eight, or whatever, he said. Shortly after learning of this device to side-step the aircraft's technical limitations I had woken in the night trembling, and sworn to myself that I would never go flying with Stefan. I never had. Now it was too late.



Remember celebrating

Seafood Filling



Seymour Warned


Socio Economic

Soul Love

Stefan to Alison

Stefan winked.


Stefanovitch speaking

Straggers Backwards

The Best Nurturing

The Heart of Paris

The Insidiousness

The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,

The Priest and the Penitent

The Shutters

The Sorbonne

Then Leave It

Today the Chief recommends

You Basterd