A lovely girl

A Rotten Night’s Sleep

A Shocking

A Shudder

A Side-Turning

A Struggling

All This Mainlining On Words

Cabinet Mirror

Catha Suddenly

Face Up

Fair Enough

Fair- Mindedness

Flying Buttress  in Bronze

For Chrissake

Fuel Cables

Full Of Echo's

Gold Chain Around His Neck

Half- Stefan Crossing

Having To Work


I Never Went Back

I Want To See You

In a Minute

In Frankfurt

In Hertfordshire

In Marxist

I could feel his tongue in my ear.

In Sussex

John Marx Stefanovitch


Kiss the envelope  for luck

Letter from Alison to Stefan

Letter  from Stefan to Alison

Listen Darling

Malleus malefactum

Mmmm’ Noises.

Mortality In Relation

My Beloved

Nancy Friday

‘Observe the wolf pack.

Our Relationship

Out- Stretched

Own Glass Still

I Never Went Back

I do not know if it was that picture  or my own glass still self-indulgence that disgusted me the most.  But certainly no maudlin dramatics can rival those of a jilted lover.  But  there was even something suspect about that conclusion:  I had not been jilted.
            I took a shower  because  I felt so dirty with my own dishonesty and washed  my hair too.  I put on a clean shirt,  the one that best showed off my breasts.   And the skirt that best emphasized   the smallness  of my waist.  And so stripped of self-interest  at last, I decided to demonstrate a new altruism.  I would ring  Julia and concern myself  with her problems.
            Julia said Elena had left and she had a new au pair who was Irish and obviously a terrorist, so she was expecting  the police to swoop any day.  Roy said the girl  was keeping the door of her bed/sitting-room locked because she had  an arms’ cache in there and   possibly some drums of gelignite too. Julia had panicked  and moved  Samantha to the furthest bedroom away, which meant that she, rather  than the girl, had to get up when the child cried at night.
            ‘No wonder you’re tired.  But have you seen anything  of Stefan?’ It seemed  only right to cover  each aspect of  her life in turn.
            ‘In  fact when ….Oh, yesterday.’
            ‘He seemed  OK?’
            ‘Oh, in fine form.  He got me to promise I wouldn’t see  Seymour again,  but Seymour rang this morning and…’
            ‘Did Stefan say anything  about me?’
            ‘Well, no,’ she pondered  vaguely and then remembered.  ‘Well, yes, in connection with Seymour.  Which reminds me.’
            ‘Are you sure he didn’t say anything else?’
            ‘Before I forget.  Seymour tried to ring you at your flat,  but…’
            ‘I’m not staying there.  Listen, Julia, I’ll give you the number I am at.  It’s 286 1139.’
            ‘I can’t find my pencil.’
            ‘Look for it.’
            ‘Although I know Seymour wants to ring you to thank you for….there wasn’t any urgency or….what I mean is I could just  tell him when you’re moving back into your flat.’
            ‘Find the pencil.’  I tried not to shout.
            ‘Well,  I’ve  found… Samantha’s  chewed the lead off.  Oh God, hang on.’
            During the distant  scuffle and scream  that followed I succumbed to the   full force of my incredulity, Stefan had   not even asked her if she knew where I was.  Which would  heave been useless as I had been very careful  not to tell anyone at all.  Least of all someone like Julia who regularly confided her secrets to him.
            ‘Julia ,’ I shouted.  ‘I’m 286…’
            ‘Hello?  I’ve got a biro.  Sorry, but  lead is toxic, you know.’
            ‘I’m  staying at Catha’s  place.  Remember, you came here once. Big Victorian house, three  down from the boutique where the woman refused you a cash refund   on the sequin-trimmed trousers and gave you a  credit  note  instead.’
            ‘I never went back,’  Julia  said.  ‘It was all a bit  daunting.’
            ‘Catha wasn’t  here,  but I knew she kept a key under  the second flower-pot from Stefan the left in the porch  Remember?’
            ‘It was all bit daunting.  I mean, her place, so Spartan and…’
            ‘And the phone number  is 2861139.’ I paused for breath then heard myself saying, ‘The key is still under the second flower –pot from the left.  When  are you going to see  Stefan again?’
‘I’m not really.  He goes tomorrow and…’
‘Listen, Julia, I really ought not to say this, but do ring him.  He’s feeling low.  But don’t   tell him I said so.  Don’t breath a word.  About me.  About my phone  number.  Anything.’
When I put the phone down I was trembling.  I had more or less instructed her to ring Stefan and give him precise details of how to reach me.  Having told Julia, of all people, it  seemed to me that I may as well tell Nancy.  I rang  the office.  There was no time to lose.
‘Nancy.  Alison.  Make a note of the phone number I’m  at.’  I was trying to be brief in case Julia had rung Stefan to Alison  immediately and Stefan  was already trying to ring me.



Remember celebrating

Seafood Filling



Seymour Warned


Socio Economic

Soul Love

Stefan to Alison

Stefan winked.


Stefanovitch speaking

Straggers Backwards

The Best Nurturing

The Heart of Paris

The Insidiousness

The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,

The Priest and the Penitent

The Shutters

The Sorbonne

Then Leave It

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