A lovely girl

A Rotten Night’s Sleep

A Shocking

A Shudder

A Side-Turning

A Struggling

All This Mainlining On Words

Cabinet Mirror

Catha Suddenly

Face Up

Fair Enough

Fair- Mindedness

Flying Buttress  in Bronze

For Chrissake

Fuel Cables

Full Of Echo's

Gold Chain Around His Neck

Half- Stefan Crossing

Having To Work


I Never Went Back

I Want To See You

In a Minute

In Frankfurt

In Hertfordshire

In Marxist

I could feel his tongue in my ear.

In Sussex

John Marx Stefanovitch


Kiss the envelope  for luck

Letter from Alison to Stefan

Letter  from Stefan to Alison

Listen Darling

Malleus malefactum

Mmmm’ Noises.

Mortality In Relation

My Beloved

Nancy Friday

‘Observe the wolf pack.

Our Relationship

Out- Stretched

Own Glass Still


When I finally caught up with  soul love Lali and told her for the  umpteenth  time that  she and  Stefan were a perfect match   she got  a bit  short with me.
            She  said she  had been  through a period of agonizing  self-doubt since he had  left but was now  through  the  tunnel and into the  light.  It was finished, le fin, finito.  But it was precisely this masculine ability of hers   to control  her emotional life that  made me  sure she  was  right  for Stefan.  Which  is why  I said so again?
            She  retaliated by asking me how Seymour was.  I had to admit I did not know.  I had to admit I was in despair.   He had refused to see me again   unless I took Alison  with me.  Alison called Seymour  every name under the sun  when I told her this.   Which did me good?  Particularly as I was frightened that  Alison was keen on Seymour  and that they had been meeting in secret without me.  And, if  I am honest, that  was the reason I kept going on about her and  Stefan being  a perfect match.  In fact I was getting   quite paranoid about pairing her off with Stefan  for good and all,  simply because I thought I was losing Seymour to her.   Apart from which, she and Stefan do have plenty in common.  They ride  life at a hundred miles an hour and whiz past me like  people  in a hurry to avoid seeing  a shudder little pedestrian accident.  So why did she brake and come across to me in my little pool of blood?
            ‘Listen, Julia.’  She sounded really angry.  ‘Just tell me- why the fuck d’you  want that  fascist’s   boot in your face?’
            I was shocked.  So shocked I felt quite hopeful.  ‘You  really  don’t like Seymour  then?’   Even the ability to frame  such a question was a  revelation to me.  Since  I could  not stop loving him myself , it was  hard to envisage  that a woman  might  not even like him.  However, Alison avoided  the question.
            ‘Since  when have you been such a masochist, Julia?  What  d’you  want him to do to you?  Twist  your tits off?’
            Yes, she  could be as crude  as Stefan  too.
            ‘There  have been plenty  of times when he’s  been very considerate and understanding, Lali.’  In fact he understood me only too well.  I was on a right leash.  If Alison despised him she might  refuse to come with me  and  then he would not see me either.  All  I wanted was his cock in me.  If I could  not have that then at least I had  to get close enough for  him to deny it to me personally. gold chain around ‘You should  give him a chance, Lali.  You only met him the once.  Why  don’t  you see him on your own?  I mean, if you want to.  Only you would tell me?    You wouldn’t  try to cut  me out or…’  I had gone too far.
            ‘You wouldn’t  want that.’
            ‘Not really.  But if you…’
            ‘Physically I find him attractive.  But so what?  My only interest  is in helping you to get the better of this situation, Julia.’
            I started  to cry.  She was  being so kind to me.  Then I could  not find the tissues and remembered  Samantha  had used the whole  box   making  nappies for Teddy.
            ‘What is the well-spring of your guilt?’  She persisted.  ‘What is it that makes you want a man to use you like this?’
            I was abject.  I had become one of life’s don’t knows, that miserable eight percent at the bottom of every list. But then much depends on the way the statistician phrases the question. Alison’s questions often seemed needlessly difficult. Like the night she had taken me to a play about prostitutes, and Catha was there.  In answer to her question afterwards, I had said I thought the play was amusing.  My heart had sunk as I listened to her discuss the play with Catha. It seemed that the play had not been about prostitutes per Seymour, nor had it been in the least amusing.  It had been you basterd a said comment on the way female children fulfilled their fathers’ expectations of them by growing up to be hookers and then searched for substitutes father figures in the person of their pimps. Or something.  Anyway I had felt   perhaps that her questions were deceptively easy.  It was the answers that were  tricky.




Remember celebrating

Seafood Filling



Seymour Warned


Socio Economic

Soul Love

Stefan to Alison

Stefan winked.


Stefanovitch speaking

Straggers Backwards

The Best Nurturing

The Heart of Paris

The Insidiousness

The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,

The Priest and the Penitent

The Shutters

The Sorbonne

Then Leave It

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