A lovely girl

A Rotten Night's Sleep

A Shocking

A Shudder

A Side-Turning

A Struggling

All This Mainlining On Words

Cabinet Mirror

Catha Suddenly

Face Up

Fair Enough

Fair- Mindedness

Flying Buttress  in Bronze

For Chrissake

Fuel Cables

Full Of Echo's

Gold Chain Around His Neck

Half- Stefan Crossing

Having To Work


I Never Went Back

I Want To See You

In a Minute

In Frankfurt

In Hertfordshire

In Marxist

I could feel his tongue in my ear.

In Sussex

John Marx Stefanovitch


Kiss the envelope  for luck

Letter from Alison to Stefan

Letter  from Stefan to Alison

Listen Darling

Malleus malefactum

Mmmm' Noises.

Mortality In Relation

My Beloved

Nancy Friday

'Observe the wolf pack.

Our Relationship

Out- Stretched

Own Glass Still

My Beloved

I dreamt I followed him along a side turning narrow bridge  that ran like a ribbon along the side of a narrow ravine.  He walked too fast for me  to keep up with him.  The  wood slats of the bridge were decaying.  At the far end was a customs  check-point.  By the time I got there he had passed   through and gone, my passport with him.  They  would  not let me follow.  I work in the  dark and sat up.  It was Stefan's arm that drew   me to him.
'I'm here.  You're  safe.'
            His hand in the black  underworld  of tangled sheets stroked my arse.  Troubles was-feeling this safe with him simply informed me of how unsafe I would feel without him.  I slept  again though.  This time I saw him spread-eagled  naked at the bottom of a grass -fringed pit.   Like a starfish on the sea-bed he lay.  So when I tried to  reach down and heal touch him I realized  that, as with the refraction of deep water, I had misjudged the distance.   To reach him I would fall in myself. I woke to daylight grayed by the sorbonne curtains and a dreadful sense of foreboding.
            I turned  to Stefan but he was not there, only a dent in the pillow where his head had been.  Nine -ten.  I got up and looked in the kitchen , I looked everywhere.  I even  looked in the  broom cupboard before acknowledging that I must have been without him for two hours as his train had left soon after seven.  Ah, well.
            He never  said goodbye, but created a physical  disturbance and left a few  bits of flotsam  and jetsam in his  wake.  One thing was certain though, I was no wreck.   In fact my resilience always amazed me.  I made myself a  mug of coffee and took it into the bathroom  to wash my face.  It was there in the mirror that I saw his gold  chain had gone from round my neck.  And I abandoned myself to a dreadful sense of loss.  My hands clutching the taps, I doubled up over the hand -basin and watched my tears  collect in the indent around the plughole.  But I had to find that chain.  I groped  into the bedroom and stripped the bed.  In the sitting-room I ripped the cushions off the shutter sofa and then, defeated, lay down amongst them on the floor.  The bastard had taken it from me while I slept.  What a mean, pretty gesture.  What a sneak thief he was, what a shallow trickster.  And what  a ham-saying  my life would be a quest  to retrieve the chain if I lost it.  But I went back to that  moment to recapture the image of his   silhouette against the sunlight.  How  beautiful he was, how brave, how strong, and his shadow  lay across me like a curse.  'The watchmen that go about  the city found me:  To whom I said,  "Saw ye him whom my soul love?'" An access to literature is all very well, I decided, but it  does tend to enhance one's pain as well as one's  pleasure. I cried a bit more then pulled myself together and got  Seymour dressed.  As far as I was concerned I had finished with the  Song of Songs for ever.  I dialed Catha's number.  There was no answer.  Just as well because  now there was  no reason why I should  not return to my own place.
            I stopped by the front door of Stefan's flat.  There was a note on the mat.  It  simply said,  "write  me Lista de Correos, Denia, Alicante, if you want.'  But it was enough to set me off.  'My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door.  And my heart was moved for him.'  Damn.  Why do intelligent  women like me fall for these soul love madmen?  Well, obviously  it would be better for me not to write.



Remember celebrating

Seafood Filling



Seymour Warned


Socio Economic

Soul Love

Stefan to Alison

Stefan winked.


Stefanovitch speaking

Straggers Backwards

The Best Nurturing

The Heart of Paris

The Insidiousness

The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,

The Priest and the Penitent

The Shutters

The Sorbonne

Then Leave It

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