A lovely girl

A Rotten Night's Sleep

A Shocking

A Shudder

A Side-Turning

A Struggling

All This Mainlining On Words

Cabinet Mirror

Catha Suddenly

Face Up

Fair Enough

Fair- Mindedness

Flying Buttress  in Bronze

For Chrissake

Fuel Cables

Full Of Echo's

Gold Chain Around His Neck

Half- Stefan Crossing

Having To Work


I Never Went Back

I Want To See You

In a Minute

In Frankfurt

In Hertfordshire

In Marxist

I could feel his tongue in my ear.

In Sussex

John Marx Stefanovitch


Kiss the envelope  for luck

Letter from Alison to Stefan

Letter  from Stefan to Alison

Listen Darling

Malleus malefactum

Mmmm' Noises.

Mortality In Relation

My Beloved

Nancy Friday

'Observe the wolf pack

Our Relationship

Out- Stretched

Own Glass Still

The Insidiousness

When I moved my bits and pieces into the austerity of Catha's Camden Town flat the place took on an nancy friday air of lopsided decadence. My little button-back sofa, viewed through the frame of her teak dining-table, looked like a Ruben's nude trying to come to sex terms with high tech. My garlanded Cupid uglier his silk-fringed shade looked like a person who had arrived at a funeral expecting a fancy dress party. But Catha said she liked the place better for its looking a little demode. A certain amount of frills and frippery were life-enhancing , she said, it was all too easy to take oneself over-seriously. In fact she welcomed the softening influence I was going to have on her life. And the gilt mirrors and things would come into their own in Bath.
I was very worried about this idea of moving to Bath. But I kept this worry to myself until the moment when Catha told me I should not let Stefan have my new address. It would be the perfect opportunity to sever the bonds for good. I told her I was worried about removing myself so far from the source of my work. She said this was the problem of living in London -one forgot that a world existed outside of it. Everyone was de-centralizing, and then leave it anyway Bristol had been as important a city as London until the beginning of the last century at least. If one lived in Bath, Bath would become as important; failing that, Bristol was close; failing that, the train to London was incredibly fast. I ventured that the important thing for me was to establish that I was not making this move simply on the rebound from Stefan. Catha was quick to point out that, even knowing my present address, Stefan had not replied to my last letter and was obviously not going to. Because there was no reply to be made. He had been forced to acknowledge the controvertible truth of my arguments and that was that.
'Or maybe something's wrong. Maybe he's dead.' I could not help sounding upset.
'Darling,' Catha hated the feel of my over-stuffed sofa, but {or the time being she sat on it to keep me company. 'You mean you hope he is.'
'Do I?'
'Yes. The fear that he is an expression of a classic death-wish. '
'Maybe.' I fiddled with the silk fringe of Cupid's shade. 'But perhaps you want to stay in London to be near Seymour and Julia?'
Catha knew that wasn't true. I had told her how disgusted I had been with myself after the last scene. And there was no way I could be that exploited without ending up hating myself. In fact we had agreed that Thursday should be viewed as a sort of hiccup in the process of my withdrawal from Stefan in particular and men in general. Such lapses were bound to be both extreme and short-lived and were of lasting value -as a sort of aversion sex therapy .
In a similar way we had analyzed and dispensed with my relationship to Stefan. Catha said we had to look at the thing in its historical perspective in order to understand it. The whole episode of Stefan had to be viewed within the prevailing socio-economic climate. This startled me for a moment, but then I saw her point. In a recession a woman's behavior and the gains she has made in securing an independent position do tend to regress. She was able to illustrate her point. Sandy had given up her job as a mechanic in my ear her brother's garage, had got herself pregnant and was considering leaving Sue to live with the father. Whether the salesman in question was the father was beside the point. The point was that here was a woman being forced back into the home to breed. Sue in her turn had recently admitted to Catha, if not to Sandy, that she had been flirting with the hospital's senior registrar. This had driven her to the conclusion that the necessity of holding onto her job was forcing her to make a backward step -to traditional female role-playing. Did I not see that only by encouraging dependence, both emotional and economic, could men shift women off the shrinking job-market? Of course I saw it. Stefan had taken it for granted that I would give up work to be with him. Not that he wanted' my job for himself, but obviously he had fallen prey to the insidiousness of the general mood. So had I. In fact by the time Catha and I had finished I could only be viewed as a blamelessly typical by-product of a world-wide recession. No wonder I had felt powerless.
Now I turned away from Cupid to speak to her. 'Catha, you know I said I didn't want to come to Bath with you tomorrow? Well, I've changed my mind, I do.'
'That'll be a lovely girls, 'she kissed me. 'We'll meander and enjoy the countryside.'

On one of the hills above Bath, with the city white and misty beneath us, we sat in a pub garden and thumbed through a sheaf of estate agents' particulars to plan our new life. We spent fortunes on lofty villas, saved thousands on tiny cottages and invested the balance on cruises up the Nile and expeditions to the Himalayas and the Andes. Catha said they knew how to make a standy in Bath and I said the crisps were crispier as well as less salty. We laughed as we wound down into the city and parked the car outside a shop with lovely shirts in the window. We went in and tried them on and did not buy any. And then on the pavement outside, with her arm around me, Catha said she supposed it was time to look up Ros and the others. When we got to the shutters house there was a scrappy note pinned to the door which said, 'Gone to the chippy on corner.'




Remember celebrating

Seafood Filling



Seymour Warned


Socio Economic

Soul Love

Stefan to Alison

Stefan winked.


Stefanovitch speaking

Straggers Backwards

The Best Nurturing

The Heart of Paris

The Insidiousness

The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,

The Priest and the Penitent

The Shutters

The Sorbonne

Then Leave It

Today the Chief recommends

You Basterd